11/26/99 Forest

[fraNk] Up to 28% increase in finger size in just 6 weeks! 100% Guaranteed! 100% natural finger
enlargement!!!
[Kilderkin] do the bones and cartilage grow with the skin?
[Kilderkin] or is it all flesh...you and up with an overextended thumb...with matching nails.
[satan1] You know they say they have cream out there that will make your pecker bigger...well
wouldn't your hands get bigger too? I mean you'd know who'd been using that stuff wouldn't ya?
[grass] what if u eat the stuff
[Kilderkin] you get a larger ass hole.
[fraNk] I rub the shit on my arms, I look like frickin popeye now
[satan1] exactly grass...Imean what if you decided.."Hey I'm outta sour cream for my burrito maybe
this cream will do" I mean will it make your neck or throat bigger?
[fraNk] it better make that burrito bigger, especially if I am very hungry
[Kilderkin] the cream is designed to make people see images...larger images. okay.
[satan1] * looks at his forearms* Hell I already look like popeye...its from gripping the counter!
[fraNk] Yes, I wonder if you look at elephantitus of the penis as a disease creating a hinderance, or
an actual benefit
[satan1] Hey this cream is multi-purpose cream...Hmmmmm *scratches his goatee*
* grass doesn't need to rub any of that stuff on Orfi's chest *
[satan1] You know I think i'll rub the cream on my next gf's ears so I have better handles to hold
onto! *S*
[fraNk] I got beat out of the stoplight by a mustang convertible, so I stopped, rubbed some of this
cream on the engine, and voila!! I raced up to him, caught him, and blew him away a the next stoplight, thank
you Mr Stiffy Cream!!! *looks into the camera and smiles brightly* call 1 800 MR STIFFY now, and order
your mr stiffy cream for only 19.95, if you call right now you will get a tube of Bulging Boob for only 5
dollars more, call today!!
[fraNk] my girlfriend has a tatoo on her forehead that reads *don't pull on my ears I know what I'm
doing* It really is embarrasing when we go to church, I tell them she was learning how to eat corn on the cob
[satan1] hard on= someone or something is gonna get screwed weather it be
woman...animal...or hand
[fraNk] some women could pass as animals *scratches head thoughtfully*
[fraNk] I saw a horny girl only one time, in the circus, she had a set of antlers like you wouldn't
believe, I ended up sneaking in later and shooting her, I was a little drunk but I firgured, hey, Elk season is
open, what the hell, I'm going for it
[jonny] ug i hate bush
[Kilderkin] bush = pubes or bush = band?
[fraNk] or bush = large thorny object I flew into while learning to ride a bike?
[Kilderkin] or bush = president
[fraNk] or busch = wet refreshment that allows me to think an ugly girl is actually quite do-able
depending upon the level of intake?
[jonny] wow...that is the first time ever i have seen fraNk post his pic
[fraNk] Yes, I am an ugly troll the likes of which the world has not known since the days of Medusa
[satan1] *rolls his eyes at fraNky* oh my god..*L* Just like a woman! *L*
[fraNk] I do have a nice set of breasts *flashes satan1
[fraNk] *** Orfinani - (#12.32.2#) - Forest - moaning loudly 89 seconds.
[Orfinani] fraNK!!! i am not..that is my stomach growling cause i am hungry...sheesh
[fraNk] wow, your stomach is certainly turned on right now, better eat some summer sausage *L*
[Rapierschild] sorry satan..im just a very deffensive young lady...its only natural
[fraNk] I tend to be offensive, why wait for something to happen, instigate the insults
* Kilderkin snickers*
* fraNk milky ways*
*** Twinpeaks (206.65.72) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing
between the trees.
* fraNk climbs the Twinpeaks and stands atop them, the ultimate conquerer of lore!!
*** Twinpeaks (206.65.72) has left location Forest
[fraNk] wow, talk about wham bam thank you man, Twinpeaks just leaves after that, well...
*smokes cigarette and lays back in the bed

12/2/99 Doorstep

[dead_poet] pulls out a little ken doll head from his pocket and holds it up and says " anyone want a
little heaD? " damn this place can be so dull at times. *sighs* wonders where all his friends are.
[SEXYGUY2] fraNK WANT A CHAT I CAN'T SEEM TO GET THROUGH TO U
[fraNk] I'm sorry, SexyGuy, my phone lines are down and it appears I'm on mars

12/8/99 Teens16_19 in pm’s

*notfraNk* (216.214.204) i've been excellent... my xmas shopping nearly done... presents all nearly
wrapped... xmas tree .. well, the tree is bought n assembled *L... still gotta decorate it.
*notfraNk* (216.214.204) last year i didn't decorate the tree til maybe two days before the big
event...
to - --> *notfraNk* you want to decorate my tree?
*notfraNk* (216.214.204) sure .. what kinda ornaments you wnat on it...
to--->*notfraNk* one that looks like a tongue *L*
*notfraNk* (216.214.204) you KNOW ... I *just* happen to HAVE one of those tongue-y
ornaments... Your tree, it's not one of those old, all the needles fell off, limp looking ones, I trust?
to---> *notfraNk* no, I have a robust tree, it is big and strong, you can sit on it all day without it falling over
*notfraNk* (216.214.204) wow. I was just ready to decorate it with tongue.. I hadn't even
THOIGHT about sitting on it yet *giggles* .. tho now that you mention it...
to- --> *notfraNk* you should think about sitting there, nothing makes a happy holiday like you sitting on my
christmas tree, wow!!
*notfraNk* (216.214.204) i just finished some banana pudding *snaps fingers* damn but that would
have been a good thing to put on your treee ... So how does one GET to Nebraska in time for xmas ROFL.
to ---> *notfraNk* you could parachute in, the tree would break your fall *L*

12/8/99 Doorstep

*** ipkiss (202.20.116) Doorstep Welcome to Alamak
[Minion] I have never kissed my internet provider, does that get you better service, more speed, a
bigger hard drive?

12/8/99 Forest

[fraNk] I want to get a butt implant, to make my ass really huge *L*
* zioNne checks out fraNks ass*.. you don't need it, hunny.. *LOL* ;)
[fraNk] ohhhhhhhh, zioNne, you bastard *L*

12/10/99 Forest

* fraNk *Minion zaps Giant Chirping One Legged Racoon Named Lucky with the platinum wand
(-2983992) *Giant Chirping One Legged Racoon Named Lucky dies in a fit of agony!!!
[fraNk] Now, just in time for christmas, it's Sado Masochist Barbie!!! Dressed in a leather thong and
bra with jet black dyedhair, six inch high heeled boots, and a six foot whip, Barbie is ready to take Ken to the
dog house. Ken comes equipped with a muzzle, a spiked collar, painfully tight leather undies, and red marks
acrossed his back, New from mattel!!!
[fraNk] Also from Mattel, another new addition to the Barbie Line, it's Road Rage Ken!!! Road
Rage Ken comes complete, with disheveled cheap business suit, beat up Ford pickup with constant honking
horn, revving engine, and squealing brakes (batteries sold separately). Pull Ken's string, and listen to him spew
out an endless blast of profane insults at oncoming traffic, oh what fun for you and your children this holiday
season!!!
[fraNk] And now, Mattel has just unveiled Bag Lady Barbie. Bag Lady Barbie is ready to live on the
streets in her full length nasty trenchcoat, she even smells like raw sewage!!! Shopping cart sold separately. If
you act now you can get Barbie's Dream Box for only 9.99, to keep Barbie warm and cozy on those snowy
winter nights. Protect Bag Lady Barbie from the undesireables of society, such as Hobo Ken, Stammering
Drunk Ken, and Womanizing Predator Ken!!!
[Watcher] Next in the line of Barbie's is Divorce Barbie... It comes with all of Ken's stuff.
[fraNk] Get another set to add to your perfect Barbie Collection, it's Internet Addiction Ken and
Barbie. Internet Addiction Ken and Barbie are notoriously overweight, and come with only one item, a Barbie
computer!!
[fraNk] What?? You still want more, well okay, now you can get Gambling addict Barbie, complete
with nothing but her creditary protection papers under Chapter 12 bankruptcy laws!!!
[Nell] well shit...
[fraNk] well belch!!
[fraNk] and nice shit by the way
[PlannedMadness] geez man, cliche barbie is on the way. Everything you've ever heard before
she's it.
[fraNk] Yes, and as a matter of fact, PlannedMadness Ken doll was in the works, but it's deformed
gross mishapen head and small genitalia made it completely undesirable to any of the worlds children or
collectors and was basically dropped before production began
[midas] I heard about a new ken doll they were coming out with. It is called flashback from nam
ken.
[PlannedMadness] very good...forcing your own inadequacies on an unsuspecting critic.
[fraNk] Don't be sad, PlannedMadness, there will always be room for you in the nut house on new
years, and what a party that will be!! Have a great time, and don't forget to send me a postcard!!
[PlannedMadness] Postcard? with no stamps? you bastard, this is unfair!!!
[PlannedMadness] I've soiled myself again.
[PlannedMadness] and again.
[kNarf] I once danced with a retarded squirrel with terretts sydrome
[kNarf] can you get anal lesions on your forehead? I'm asking...for a friend
* kNarf looks at midas
[PlannedMadness] I's shit on all of you if someone had a camera.
[kNarf] I would light your poop on fire and send it to your grandma
[PlannedMadness] and piss in all of your mouths if you were all asleep.
[PlannedMadness] I would rub faeces in your faces.
[kNarf] Hmm, you are rather disturbing, PM, and coming from me, you know that is a mouthful
[PlannedMadness] all this would cost you a dollar.
[kNarf] A dollar? Well, I guess that is reasonable
[kNarf] I would figure just the part where you piss on me while I'm sleeping would cost me that
much

12/11/99 Forest

* Varian then beats the holy-God-knows-what out of kNarf
[Varian] Stop being a stupid pervert. I hate to see such rotten people.
* kNarf tosses Varian onto a band saw table and slowly painfully cuts him in half
* kNarf sells off one half of the butcreasenugget for 11 pesos on the mexican black market and takes
the other half on a world wide circus tour
* Varian ignores being cut in half, therefore he automatically puts himself back together. kNarf,
trying to comprehend this, explodes quite puntually.
* kNarf only faked the explosion, as he did with your mom last night, then turns and rams a plunger
up your toilet of an anus and pulls out your tonsils with it
[Varian] I think poopgod just referred to me as a female...I will ignore that for now.
[kNarf] I think Varian just refered to herself as a male, I will ignore that for now
[Varian] My mother's been dead for 32 years.
[kNarf] Yes, I'd say she was a dead lay *nods head in agreement*
[kNarf] I like grabbed her by the hair and her decrepit head popped off
[Varian] kNarf...why must you continue this battle of wits?
[kittycat_17] any males 17 or older wanna chat?
[kNarf] I'm 71, kittycat, ready to puff on grandpa's big seegar??
[poopgod] Gar are freshwater, not seawater, nKarf.
[kNarf] oh, my mistake, pgod, I meant puff on grandpa's big trout
* Varian once again draws his huge, ancient, runed blade and swings it back and forth intimidatingly
[kNarf] your blade is ruined? I'm sorry
[Varian] Runed, you fool. (God, that was too easy.)
[kNarf] no need to call me god here, Varian, we are in public
[kNarf] Varian is such a good girl
* Varian comes back to life to annoy people
[Varian] kNarf in particular...
[kNarf] even dead you were annoying, a large maggot was singing a lean rhymes tune from within
your left nostril and I was quite offended, and I was out of raid
[Varian] Your insults mean nothing to me kNarf...I've experienced more battles than the number of
years you are old.
[kNarf] welp, I do have to go, it has certainly been entertaining, I hope Varian can avoid the white
coat people from the mental health place a while longer

12/12/99 Forest

[FruityPebbles] shit shit shit
[fraNk] flush flush flush
* Nell hiccups*
[fraNk] oh, hello cups, Nell didn't tell me you were here *hugs*
[Nell] you must feel special!
[fraNk] Yes, I have felt special up before

12/13/99 Doorstep /pm’s

*steph38* (204.220.140) you are sad don't know what your game is you are weirdo here
sent to - --> *steph38* is it possible that you are on medication?
*steph38* (204.220.140) no why do you talk to me like this? you msgd me before, now are all weird,
maybe you are on drugs???
sent to- --> *steph38* my dog has a hairy tail
*steph38* (204.220.140) sorry ever msgd your weird ass
sent to- - -> *steph38* you are forgiven, not everyone can make up for thier lack of intellect : )
*steph38* (204.220.140) don't bother, don't know who the fuck you are, not the frank I knew, you
are some sick fuck, who can't even talk intelligibly here
sent to - --> *steph38* Now, it's okay, you may just need sleep or something, I'm sure that everything will be
alright *hugs* I still love you
*steph38* (204.220.140) fuck you
*** User steph38 not found!

12/13/99 Doorstep

[wANE] MY GF IS A CHEAP BITCH WAIT A 2 DOLLAR WHORE
*** Kick wANE by fraNk (she should dump you, lang and insults).

12/13/99 Doorstep /pm’s

*JAMIE* (192.169.41) GEEZ... ...DO U MIND IF I REMOVE MY TOP ??? I'M FEELING
PRETTY WARM...
*JAMIE* (192.169.41) THANX..*REMOVES HER TANK TOP* OOPS... ...I FORGOT TO
WEAR ANYTHING BELOW IT...SO I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO LET U SEE MY 36C TITS
*BLUSHES*
sent to ---> *JAMIE* Can I rub butter on them and some garlic powder?

no answer *L*

12/13/99 Forest

[Drago] o.k...lets all ignore me then...that's fine too
[Adonia] kicks the ever loving shit out of Drago...FEEL BETTER?
[Orfinani] Get used to it Drago, I get ignored 3/4 of the time
[Drago] I'd advise you not to do that again Adonia
[Adonia] kicks Drago's ass agin..WHAT OF IT??
* fraNk ignores Orfinani 7/8 of the time, damn, I am quite the overachiever
[Drago] Orfi...does that qualify as harrassment?

12/13/99 Forest

* midas gets out a eureaka mighty boss and throws it at fraNk it a fit of rage, take that you dainty
c***
[fraNk] dainty corn?
[fraNk] dainty cuty?
[fraNk] dainty crum
[fraNk] you are so sweet

12/13/99 Forest

*** merk (139.139.250) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing between
the trees.
[merk] checks out forrest
[fraNk] Okay, you are all set, merk, make sure you get forrest back to the library in two weeks!!
* midas wonders if there are any beautiful women on the chat tonight
[merk] gump?
[fraNk] *** Drago - (203.109.250) - Forest - dreaming of midas 8232 seconds.
[Drago] I wouldn't do that if I were you frank
[fraNk] what, don't dream of midas?
[Drago] you know very well what Imean frank...knock it off.
[merk] watches the plane fly over and dump defoliant on the trees
[merk] watches the leaves fall off
[fraNk] damn, it's like Nam all over again
[fraNk] mama always said defoliant would screw up your memory
[fraNk] where the hell am i???
[fraNk] who the hell are you Drago?
* fraNk suddenly collapses, dead...