9/20/99 Forest

* Dysfunkshonal LMAO* thats what they do too!! you skip school and they suspend you!! thats not
other day my friend andy picked me up and was walking down the hall with me over his shoulder and some
other guy smakced my ass..and i still have no idea who he was
* Magus smirks at Dys* well, your school sucks ass...
[PaintedWolf] Are any of you guys old enough to remember when teachers we allowed to paddle
you?
[fraNk] That guy that smacked your ass and put his finger in your *BLLEEEEP* was me
[Magus] hey, i'm 16...i can't remember a year from last week! i don't think i'll remember getting
paddled across the ass in school!
[fraNk] damn, I hate the Alamak censoring system
[fraNk] stupie *BLLEEEEP*
[fraNk] When I went to a catholic grade school, they would use a ping pong paddle to spank
people, it was very degrading to be spanked by a nun, wait, it was also stimulating, but I think the degrading
part won out over stimulation, even when the nuns were topless
[PaintedWolf] I used to get paddled alot.. The teachers thought they were punishing me..
Mwwaaahahahahaha]
* PaintedWolf dies laffin' at fraNk* I swear you crack me up
[Magus] we won't go there, fraNk... *L* i'd dare you to go to the Christian's rom and say that...but
then you'd get kicked or somethin' like that...
[Dysfunkshonal] Ahahah at my school there are like 30 or maybe 40 seinors in the whole
thing..and im the oldest girl that goes there..so i run the place...well me and my best friend do.. we have body
guards too *L*
[fraNk] actually, I don't even know where to find the christian room anymore *L*
[fraNk] I guard her body with my incredibly strong rod
[Dysfunkshonal] ahhhh last night this girl lacey was all taking to me and she was asking me if i
have got this guy yet cause she wants him so bad and i had to lie to her and tell her no cause if i told her yes she
would tell everyone cause shes a big mouth and she was all like "you better hurry cause im 18 soon and im
gonna be all over him" and i laffed and was like"go ahead and try he doesnt want you" and yea it was just
funny
[fraNk] I had him too, FruityP, and he is not very good in bed, hell, he wouldn't even give a
friendly reach around, the bastard!!
* Dysfunkshonal LMAO@fraNk* you had him too..wowsers..and your right..he isnt that good..didnt
last very long..
[fraNk] There is a trick to lasting long for guys, it is thinking about Janet Reno, I swear, you can go
all night, just don't think about her too much, or you go soft and the game is over
* Dysfunkshonal laffs* ahah ill let him in on that secret fraNk *LOL*
[PaintedWolf] eeewww.. If I thought he was thinking about Janet Reno then I'd totally fall out
of the "mood"
[Feli] you know what I do .. since I hate eye contact anyways I just don't look @ people's eyes I look
above them,.. don't try the picture everybody in their underwear trick it doesn't work *L*
[fraNk] The only problem with the whole thing is that then you get association disorders and
actually find yourself attracted to Janet Reno, and by virtue of her manly features you find yourself having
homosexual tendencies and wanting to touch Pez and Magus
[PaintedWolf] wow.. looks like I hurt myself last night in the melee' ... .. I just don't remember
how..
[Magus] everyone wantsa touch me...what the hell are you talking about fraNk? *L*
[fraNk] I didn't mean to hurt you PW, but your head was just banging against the head board and
you were yelling don't stop and calling me god and jesus and so I didn't stop and basically the bed collapsed
through the plate glass window and we fell three stories onto a ryder truck
[BlackStone] janet reno ? wouldn't it be ginette reno?
[PaintedWolf] Well.. there's a stick in the hallway the size of this big punctur wound on the top of my foot with blood on it. I figure It has something to go with that.. *L*
Magus slaps fraNk upside the head* i just said we din't wanna know!
[PaintedWolf] It's just a good thing that I was on top, fraNk.. *LMAO*
* Grimm_Unsane lol fraNk

9/1/99 Forest

[fraNk] my husband is an ass
[fraNk] wait, I'm not married
[Chadwick] yours is too, fraNk. All my husband wants anymore is sex and pretzels.
[fraNk] ***Command /getnaked not recognized, all commands dealing with nudity reserved for
committee operators and alamak staff only
*** Chadwick is magically summoned away by TimeForGayLove!
[fraNk] holy crap? what was that??
[Meltdown] *rotflmao @ Chadwick* OOOO!!!
*** Chadwick (209.240.200) Forest / time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[Chadwick] who the hell summoned me?
[fraNk] TimeForGayLove? he is a very powerful op
[niceguy17] hey chadzy..gay love.ooooooo
[Meltdown] Chadwick.. you're interested in gay lovin'?
[Chadwick] i already told you, don't start with me. i aint in the mood.

9/6/99 Forest

[Minion] I am not sharing my ops with you, Caeridwen, stop asking me to!!!
[Minion] *L*
[Caeridwen] fuck you Minion
[Minion] HyperGirly has a bald beaver
[Minion] I mean as a pet of course
[mel1on] *LOL* FRANK!
[Minion] I have a hairy skunk
[Caeridwen] what you want me to lick your cunt to i suppose
[Minion] wow, who is eating rug here, and can I take pictures??
[mel1on] *L* Fank.. your horrible
[Caeridwen] ... shall i watch chasing amy now.. do you give it two thumbs up
[Minion] that movie is good, Joey Lauren Adams is hoooooooooooottttttttttttt!!! I give it one big rod straight up and twitching!! highest movie rating available!!
[Caeridwen] kay i will go watch it then
[mel1on] *L*

9/6/99 40plus

*** Signoff madAShell (146.201.32).
[Epimetheus] What does that nick mean? Mad A Shell? *confused*
[Epimetheus] Maybe it was a typo. "Made A Shell" in that they're some sort of mollusk

9/9/99 Forest

*** Meethos (156.46.128) Forest / time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing between the trees
* fraNk tackles Meethos and forces Mentos in his mouth *the fresh maker!!*
* poet smacks frank upside the head with a pickle
* fraNk tackles poet and forces a pickle in her mouth
[JackAss] Hm. Assault with a deadly pickle.
* fraNk tackles JackAss and forces a banana in his mouth
* fraNk tackles Orf and forces crackers in her mouth
[Orfinani] why did poet get a pickle and i got crackers...pout*

9/9/99 Forest

[poet] Orfi,have you tried the new /clear command yet? *L*
[Orfinani] No, poet, I was away on vacation..Why should i try it?
[poet] it's fun,Orfi...type /clear fraNk and he'll disappear *grin*
[fraNk] oh no you don't peotica

9/9/99 Forest

[Femme_Les] Anyone up for CLEAN DECENT FRIENDSHIP?
[JackAss] Yes Femme ! I am without reservation !
[fraNk] I want a dirty decent relationship, Femme, talk to me!!
[JackAss] I want a cheese sandwich Femme ! Talk to me !!!
[Femme_Les] Didn't have to be rude ya all... :(
[fraNk] who is being rude?? we love you Femme
[JackAss] Yes we love you Femme. Would you like a pickle ?
[Femme_Les] aww..yeah sure JA..right after u wash ur hands..hehe
* JackAss turns Femme Les across his knee. *spank*
* Femme_Les screams...HEEEY THAT HURTS!!!
[fraNk] Yes, I want to be part of this *takes pictures of Jack and the spanking*
[JackAss] Yes fraNk - shoot us you saucy shutterbug! ( turns Femme's scarlet derriere towards the
camera ) *spank*
[Femme_Les] U're not very nice JA... :( I didn't do nothing for that spanky!
[fraNk] OH now, who says you have to do something to receive a spanking, it's one hell of a fun
gift to get
[Femme_Les] U too franky? ohhhhhh
[fraNk] yes my my my, let me get out the spatula *enters the frey and spanks furiously till sweating
*L*

9/11/99 Partial Room List (/list)

O : 00 : 0ldAsHell
O : 00 : 0ldDeadSmelly
O : 00 : 10000plus
O : 00 : 10000plusDEAD
O : 00 : 1000plus
O : 02 : 100plus
O : 12 : 20plus
O : 04 : 30plus
O : 15 : 40plus
O : 00 : 50plus
O : 00 : 90plus

9/14.99 Forest

[TwiggyR] Wouldn't recomind JimmyGnome waste bandwith...it keeps this Server from crashing
[JimmyGnome] Server crashes build character
* niceguy17 agrees with TwiggyR
* JimmyGnome agrees with himself. Of course nobody else will.
[Ruby] server crashes weed out the weak among us
[Ruby] Mac is easier than windows... windows tries to make dos machines work like macs...
[Ruby] it's unnatural, I tell ya! that's like trying to make apes talk
[JimmyGnome] What, now you have something against talking apes?
[Ruby] get your paws off me you damn dirty ape!

9/14/99 Forest: Why do they try and insult us?

[Joeman23] soo freemechanic is that free to a good home cuz yo momma thinks you're ugly? or just
free at gay clubs?
[fraNk] JoeMan, you can't win *L*
[fraNk] I must say though, that I admire your gumption, I have to admit that if I had to go from
place to place on a flat bed truck like JoeMan does, I would probably commit suicide
[fraNk] But the question is, how to commit suicide, Joeman is so fat that hanging herself with a
chain would be useless, either the branch would break or the chain would
[fraNk] To shoot yourself you would have to find the right fold
[fraNk] I doubt you could find a vein buried in joeman's girth of lard to inject drano
[Joeman23] Feli, famliliar as in another pregnency for you? or familiar as in grade 6 which you're
still trying to pass? can you get back to me? thancx sooo much
[fraNk] you might slit your wrists, joeman, but you would have to find a chainsaw
[JimmyGnome] There is always asphixation, fraNk... just place three pieces of duct tape over the
mouth, nose, and blow hole.
[fraNk] JoeMan may attempt suicide by standing in traffic, but you better hope a truck comes along, and I pity the economy car that hits that large mountain of ass

9/14/99 Forest

[JackAss] The truth is mellon that game is truly pathetic and no one cares about your little anecdote.
[mellon] oh go fuck yourself JackAss.
[JackAss] *** Sorry, this kick not allowed.
[mellon] *L*
[JackAss] Did it say something on your screen mellon *L* ?
[mellon] *L* hehehehehe no.. but i knew you would try *L*

9/21/99 Think_Cafe

[TommyTwoToes] I have three balls, Horus, I'm a regular freak of nature
[snot69] Yuuuuuuuuck
[TommyTwoToes] snot69 must be eating my mom's chickent soup
[Horus] You should see a doctor bout that thats untidy
[ibex] So what if I don't have sex?!
[SweetPea] ICONO... i do not hate it! Hell I'd love to do it!!! But with the right guy...
[TommyTwoToes] SweetPea, if you were on top it better be on the ground floor with no basement
for safety's sake
[ibex] that's like not eating, or sleeping
[TommyTwoToes] ibex, when you discover sex you no longer need to eat or sleep
[TommyTwoToes] The hardest part is the first entry
[TommyTwoToes] after that it's all slick
[SweetPea] Saxman... i did not say that... why does everyone keep putting words in my mouth!!!
* TommyTwoToes puts the word penis in SweetPea's mouth
[Relay] Tommy you crazy
[TommyTwoToes] I love it when a girl bites me as hard as she can
[TommyTwoToes] and rips the end right off
[TommyTwoToes] oh god, I'm so turned on just thinking about it
[TommyTwoToes] I'm talking about a tootsie roll by the way
[ibex] sex can be also be unsanitary and yucky, pick yer partner(s) well
[SweetPea] I am not repulsed by sex at all... where did you get that?!
[Pandora] you need to eat to have good sex! LMAO
[TommyTwoToes] I swear, for a couple of years I thought I'd be a virgin forever, but then in third
grade I really came of age
[ibex] sometimes it's great to eat WHILE you have sex
[TommyTwoToes] you do have to pick your partners for that sort of activity, I was with three
penquins last night and it was excellent, let me tell you!!
[TommyTwoToes] I was once having sex with a rump roast after I cooked it, so I was eating too
[Relay] i guess Calm should like this conversation i will phone him some day about this hehehe
[TommyTwoToes] I couldn't reach the potato salad though so the penguins dumped it on my bare
behind
[ibex] and nothing like a good piece of american pie for desert *g*

9/30/99 Pentagon

*** Location Pentagon has been locked by Minion
* JackAss casts a spell and the whole room falls asleep !
* RobotCat is immune*
[RobotCat] I'm a robot for cripes sake
* Pez steals Ruby's batteries.*
* Minion steals Ruby's vibrator
[RobotCat] I don't have batteries. I'm nuclear-powered
[Minion] me and Pez made a clean sweep on that one
* Pez steals Minion's strap on.*
[Minion] although car batteries are heavy *snicker*
[Pez] A nuclear powered vibrator? Good Lord...
[Minion] ahh, help, all my hair fell out, I'm baren, radiation poisoning *L* this from day 7 of the
vibrator chronicals, a new book by ruby
[RobotCat] *L* a nuclear powered cat.
[RobotCat] aka the plutonium... fill in the blank yourselves. you're all perverted enough to figure it
out
[Minion] plutonium feline?
[Minion] no, perhaps the plutonium lynx?
[RobotCat] yeah. feline. exactly, Minion
[Pez] Nuclear pussy?
[Pez] Heh heh. Here comes the Uranium rod...

10/1/99 Forest

[fraNk] I was just struck in the head by a killer walnut!!!
[Dock] Who can impart wisdom to another?
[fraNk] I am always good at imparting wisdom, although wisdom parted from me long ago, as
though I never had it
[Dock] And give knowledge where knowledge is lacking?
[fraNk] I can give knowledge from where knowledge is lacking, but my knowledge is more like
stupidedge
[Caeridwen] a book
[Dock] A book cannot speak, Caeridwen.
[Pez] You make it speak with strings and throwing yer voice.

10/7/99 Think_Café

[seek] but we should censor violence and pronography.
[jhae] but I'm not talking about porno...I'm talking about music...
[fraNk] when I was a little kid I used to try pornographic acts on trees
[fraNk] I tell you what though, slivers suck
[fraNk] I don't even know if they make protection that works for tree fornication
[fraNk] I did meet a nice pine tree when I was 13, that pine was special to me, but one night I came home late with tar all over my body, in my tighty whiteys, and basically I was not allowed to go near that tree again
*** cinderella (63.70.184) Think_Cafe / puts down some books, gets a coffee, and joins the discussion.
[fraNk] I got over it though, I met an acorn, you should have seen the nuts on that tree
*** cinderella (63.70.184) has left location Think_Cafe
[fraNk] I used to play with the nuts, and put them in my mouth
[fraNk] speaking of nuts, there goes cinderella, she probably has balls to attend