12/03/00 Doorstep

* Lit wonders if any ladies would like to chat with a 28/m who plays semi pro football from
Missouri
[Minion] what is semi pro football? is that a whole bunch of fat guys driving around in 18
wheelers tossing around the pigskin?

12/06/00 Forest

[ShadowKnight] hey
* ShadowKnight removes his helmit reviling a strong young face with soft eyes
* kNarf touches ShadowKnights eyes *squoosh* yep they are soft
[ShadowKnight] ouch!
[kNarf] *wields his sword* who dares challenge me?
[ShadowKnight] i might
* Drakna pulls out a staff* I dont normally
[ShadowKnight] i fight... but not to kill
[kNarf] that's right everyone fears my sword!!! *waves it around* it was chiseled from the
finest marble
[ShadowKnight] a marble sword... HA.... pure light wait enchanted titanum
[Drakna] whats to fear from a simple sword
* kNarf casts a rigor spell at ShadowKnight!!!
* ShadowKnight deflects the spell with his sword
* ShadowKnight charges at Narf
* ShadowKnight STILL charging at kNarf
* kNarf watches as ShadowKnight is still charging at him
* kNarf is still watching the charge
* kNarf continues to watch eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and watches some more
* kNarf considers while watching that the next battle should be fought closer than 2 miles
from one another
* ShadowKnight swings his sword sending out sevral blades of black energy
* ShadowKnight stops to take his breath watching the black energy blade still go to kNarf
* kNarf gets hit in the mouth *pewyeee I hate black licorice*
[ShadowKnight] puff... puff
[kNarf] DAMN YOU use red energy tastes like Twizzers *casts another rigor spell at
ShadowKnight
* ShadowKnight stands up and runs toward kNarf
* kNarf dons the enchanted underwear
[ShadowKnight] not... the... underwear
[kNarf] hahaha my nuts shall fend off your hopeless attack
* ShadowKnight barely dodges the spell and throws a bag of black licorice at kNarf mouth *
hahahahahaha
* kNarf is overwhelmed by the nasty black licorice *YOU SHALL PAY* stands....
[ShadowKnight] hahahahaha
* kNarf conjurs up an ancient judism spell and causes a chocolate chip cookie to be
possessed by satanic demons then throws it at SKnight!!!
* ShadowKnight runs at the cookie and bakes it with his FlameSword
* ShadowKnight eats the cookie
[ShadowKnight] hmmmmmm. needs less demon more salt
[kNarf] hmmmm *conjurs up the same spell at a block of C-4 and tosses it at
ShadowKnight
* kNarf wields his secret sword
* ShadowKnight turns into a shadow of himself and watches the block go through him
* kNarf swings the secret sword to and fro
* ShadowKnight charges at kNarf * you run too, we’re still pretty far apart*
[kNarf] the secret sword is made from the engine block of a 74 Impala
* kNarf begins running still 1.5 miles away from ShadowKnight
[ShadowKnight] ohhhh ahhhhhhh ohhhhh ahhhhhhhh
* kNarf hammered out the secret sword using his bare hands and the skull of RogueMage's
grandmother
[ShadowKnight] RM grandmother... YOUR SICK
* ShadowKnight uses his only no sword related magic and summons up a giant peace of
black licorice
* kNarf huffs and puffs for he has several swords one made of granite also a broad axe
formed from the dung of a magical chimpanzee and a bag of rat balls
* kNarf summons up Vanna White and asks if he may buy a vowel for ShadowKnight
* ShadowKnight tells his licorice to attack * attack!*
* kNarf is denied by Vanna White who, in this vision, getting doinked by Alex Trebek of
Jeproady
[ShadowKnight] not VANNA
* kNarf wields his donkey parrot a 1400 lb beast that sits on his shoulder hee hawing and
eating the black licorice
[ShadowKnight] Licorice, dive into kNarf's mouth!!!
[kNarf] that is better *is suddenly getting very tired with the large assbird on his shoulder
and unwields it
* ShadowKnight finaly gets a few feet away from kNarf * wow what a long woods*
* kNarf reaches into his bag and pulls out a long vibrating stick with nubs running the length
of it and orders it to attack ShadowKnight's buttocks
* kNarf watches as the vibrating stick attacks and tries to make it's way into SKnight's
shadowy orifice
[kNarf] Oh goodness have I gone too far???
[ShadowKnight] hahaha.. havent you ever heard of buns of steel! in order to become a
shadow knight you must have a tight sexy ass
[kNarf] damn you and damn that lady from Buns of Steel and her ridiculously hard routines
[ShadowKnight] hahahahaah
* kNarf wields his monkey crap axe and begins to bash ShadowKnight about the head and
chest with it
* ShadowKnight slashes at kNarf neck
[kNarf] hahahhaha if the blows don't take you out the smell certainly will
* kNarf suddenly dies of a heart attack from that long run
* ShadowKnight gets the hose and sprays the crap * now its diearea*
* ShadowKnight pokes kNarf's dead body * all i can say is .... who want the drum stick
* ShadowKnight cuts up kNarf
[ShadowKnight] i got to go sorry
[kNarf] it's okay I'm dead

12/07/00 Forest

[Gin] i have a soft spot for homeless poochies
[Minion] I have a hard spot for homeless gymnasts

12/08/00 Woods

[alpacino] hello
[fraNk] alpacino is it true that you are capacino's brother?

12/08/00 Woods

[Ellies] I tried I just cant honest food is choking me right now
[fraNk] I hate honest food I say if honest food is trying to choke you then it certainly isn't
honest anymore it has become sinfully dishonest

12/12/00 40plus

*** IncredibleHulk (209.50.5) 40plus / Welcome!!!
[IncredibleHulk] ROAR
[IncredibleHulk] DRUGS
[A_Lady] are ya green IncredibleHulk?
[IncredibleHulk] ARG
[IncredibleHulk] ME GREEN
[IncredibleHulk] ME FED DRUGS AND MADE BIG
[A_Lady] *laffs*
[Raine_] waiting for an interesting man to show up
[IncredibleHulk] ME MOST INTERESTING OF ALL *GRABS RAINE_ AND TOSSES
HER IN THE AIR THEN SETS HER BACK DOWN
*** IncredibleHulk (209.50.5) has left location 40plus

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*** IncredibleHulk (209.50.5) Woods / IncredibleHulk walks through dense
undergrowth beneath the forest canopy.
[IncredibleHulk] ROAR!!!
[Denial] lol..
[IncredibleHulk] ME BIG
[Denial] yes.. and I am the queen of england..
[IncredibleHulk] ME GREEEEEEEEEEEEN
[Xberwolf] look black to me
[IncredibleHulk] ME COME TO FOREST, UPROOT TREES, BEAT YOU WITH THEM
[Denial] it is the Woods..
[IncredibleHulk] NO MAKE ME ANGRY XBERWOLF!!!
[Xberwolf] looks *points* i am shaking in my space boots
* IncredibleHulk GRABS XBERWOLF AND THROWS HIM INTO A TREE
[Denial] wow..
[IncredibleHulk] ME SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPEN WHEN TURN GREEN AND RUIN
DOCKER KHAKI PANTS!!!
*** IncredibleHulk (209.50.5) has left location Woods

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*** IncredibleHulk (209.50.5) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as
IncredibleHulk enters the clearing between the trees.
[IncredibleHulk] ROAR
[IncredibleHulk] HULK NO LIKE EMPTY ROOM!!!
*** midas (216.161.67) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as midas enters the
clearing between the trees.
[IncredibleHulk] ROAR!!!!
[midas] what the fuhk am I doing awake
* IncredibleHulk GRAB MIDAS THROW HIM IN LAKE AND FLEX REAL BIG AND
GREEN
[midas] I think I need to take a shit
[IncredibleHulk] YOU NO TAKE POOP WHEN HULK AROUND
[midas] actually I need to take a nap or go to bed worse *nods*
[IncredibleHulk] YOU NEED TAKE ROIDS AND BECOME BIG AND GREEN
[midas] me need punch hulk in mouth and let him suckle newborn calf
* IncredibleHulk BECOME SUDDENLY ANGRY AND TEAR OFF DESIGNER TOMMY
HILFIGER SHIRT
* midas takes a shit in Hulk's mouth
* IncredibleHulk SPIT OUT POOP AND ROAR LOUDLY IN AN INCOHERENT
ANGRY MANNER
* IncredibleHulk GET IN VW BUG AND DRIVE AROUND FOREST FOR NO
APPARENT REASON, SMASHING INTO TREE AND ROCK
* midas pours gas on Hulk and lights him on fire * beat that incredible hulk
* IncredibleHulk ON FIRE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO *ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAR*
JUMPS INTO POND
* midas picks up cat and points ass at hulk and watches cat piss on Hulk for apparent reason
like pissing on couch
* IncredibleHulk BECOME VERY VERY ANGRY WITH CAT GRAB CAT AND TOSS
CAT 3000 FEET INTO THE AIR
[midas] cat land on feet and claw fuhk out of hulk...
[midas] jeez now I'm talking like that
* IncredibleHulk MUST GO SAVE SCHOOLCHILDREN FROM EVIL MONSTER!!!

12/12/00 Forest

[RuthiJo] Trev : )
[DarkSilence] c|:^)~
[RuthiJo] *laffz* cute : )
[DarkSilence] My Amish man.
[RuffRyder] ( : ^ 0 <===
[RuthiJo] is afraid to ask what that is!! *laffz*
[DarkSilence] One can only wonder what fraNk is trying to portray.
[DarkSilence] A very surprised fellatio amateur.
[RuthiJo] *laffz*
[RuffRyder] ) : ^ ( o o o o <===
[DarkSilence] Unhappy receiver.

12/13/00 Forest

[zeP] My ass bones hurt.
[OnlyJesusKnows] one time my ass hurt too
[zeP] Then the hamster crawled out?
[OnlyJesusKnows] but by the fourth night in prison I was used to it

12/13/00 40plus

[sizzz] has 12 inches and still snowing.
[kNarfinski] has 12 inches and is still growing

12/13/00 Forest

[Nirroki] me want color too
[Jen_Italwhort] you no get color.. you short.. eyes on crooked.. eat rice all day.. sucky long
time no dollar

12/14/00 Forest

*** macker (193.1.209) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as macker enters the clearing between the trees.
[macker] does anyone have a tractor
[jonny] my uterus hurts
[macker] Im a uterus specialist
[macker] It is fair if we’re to put our faces in that shit
[fraNk] macker if you could visit jonny what would you do to her?
[macker] Id give her some tea and some biscuits followed by a quick sharp shocker up the
gocker
[macker] hey jonny do u have a forest or bush
[jonny] i have the whole jungle in my panties
[jonny] including al lthe wildlife
[jonny] many undiscovered speicies
[jonny] lots of inscets and diseases n stuff *nods*
[jonny] mabey the cure for cancer somewhere in there too!
[macker] yo fraNk would you lick beaver
[fraNk] Hell yes I would
[jonny] i dont have a beaver...i have a skunk
[jonny] a rabid skunk that bites
[macker] would that skunk bite my knob
[jonny] if you stuck your knob near my rabid skunk yes it would get bitten...rather hard
[fraNk] macker what would you do to jonny's skunk with your manly stiffy?
[macker] I can smell that skunk from here so id probably kill the damn thing with my 45
[jonny] sounds good to me
*** macker (193.1.209) has left location Forest

12/14/00 Forest

[Caeridwen] I am EATING HERE FAMILY
[kNarfinskipoo] You are eating your family??? Wow I don't know what is worse.. sexual or
cannibal? flip a coin I guess

12/14/00 Forest

[kNarfinskipoo] Beadee what do you think of hairy armpits on girls?
[Beadee] erm that's a hell no fraNk
[Caeridwen] i think it itches shave it off immediately
[Beadee] why fraNk are you banging someone with hairy pits? I thought that was very
much your thing tho?
[jonny] why shave when you can rip the hair out.....then your armpits are baby bum soft for
a month or more
[kNarfinskipoo] why rip the hair out when you can burn it off.. then your armpits are fried
and cracked and the whole house smells like burning flesh
* Beadee spits out her sprite* gross fraNk ..... but a very good response

12/15/00 Forest

…Alamak icon enhancements, use /monkey /love /hug and many more shortcuts…
[serviceme] only on alamak can you log on and be told 'use monkey love' ...

12/16/00 Forest

[jonny] my mattress is white
[jonny] but im not gonna jump on this bed cause i dont wanna wreck it
[stryfe] if i bounced on my bed i am sure the giant splinters from the broken boards that
would impale two or three of my vital organs
[jonny] your 2 testicles and dick?

12/17/00 Forest

[alliya] blow me *L*
* kNarfusion sucks alliya off
* kNarfusion swallows
[kNarfusion] ah yah *licks chops* that was some good stuff
[alliya] oooh... frank is a good girl

12/17/00 Forest

[Typhon] WTF IS WITH THAT MUSIC
[Typhon] AND THAT HEAD THAT RANDOMLY APPEARS
[kNarfusion] randomly appearing head??? wow.. that sounds like heaven
[kNarfusion] I think I'll even put up with Lleanne Rhymes if I can just randomly get
head

12/17/00 Forest

[Adramelech] I hate midis. They always cause my browser to pause and I think my comp
has crashed.
[kNarfusion] You hate midas??? HOW DARE YOU *beats Adramelech with a tire iron*