3/21/03 Hot_Tub

[Beloved] I'll be 28 in 2013.
[Petra] Jesus, i could be your mother.
[Minion] You are the virgin mary, Petra??? HOLY SHIT!
[_Dude] no jesus is my mother
[Petra] That I am Minion. lol
[PainandLust] that's a lie

3/24/03 Forest

[MachoMarcus] (61.5.16) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as darkelf enters
the clearing between the trees.
[MachoMarcus] WOW what an entrance !!!
[MachoMarcus] This is time warp material !!
[MachoMarcus] HELLO THERE !! IS ANYBODY HIDING BEHIND THOSE TREES ??
[MachoMarcus] I COME IN PEACE!!
[MachoMarcus] well theres usually a bit of moaning !!

3/25/03 Woods

*** star (195.92.168) Woods / star walks through dense undergrowth beneath the
forest canopy.
[star] anyone up for rough and tumble in woods???
[Minion] ME
* Minion punches star in the face
*** star (195.92.168) has left location Woods
[Minion] that's right, I'm too rough for the masses!!!! wooo!!

4/6/03 Hot_Tub

*** hungathlete15 (216.148.244) Hot_Tub / hungathlete15 appears and hops into
the Hot Tub naked!!!
[samantha] oh my god, hungathlete!!!! someone cut the rope!!! SUICIDE IS NOT THE
ANSWER MAN!!

4/6/03 Hot_Tub

[BunnyHug] Immaculata. You're an idiot. Your mom should have killed herself when she
found out she was pregnant.
[sexyjenny17] BunnyHug is mean, I like that in a bigger girl *S*
* BunnyHug is a bigger girl?
[sexyjenny17] it's okay bunnyhug, people diet *S*
[BunnyHug] You're a moron.
[sexyjenny17] I am not, I have never even been to Utah, I'm catholic
*** KICK WARNING User sexyjenny17 warned by BunnyHug 152 ( ) ( harassment....and
hey, did you know that a jenny is a female donkey??? Jackass. )
[Patriot] Who's a moron?
[BunnyHug] sexyjenny17 is
[sexyjenny17] she thinks I am a moron, but I'm catholic, DUH

4/6/03 Hot_Tub

*** KICK WARNING User ALMIGHTY_GOD warned by Earl1 7502 ( ) ( flooding )
[BearSuit] I wouldn't be kicking God, Earl1...Especially when your number's so close to
being drawn *L*
[Earl1] dont you worry about me Bear Shit

4/9/03 Forest

[hay] any gay guys wanna chat
[fraNk] hay gay?
[fraNk] gay hay, homosexual alfalfa hits the chat, cows everywhere are puzzled

4/10/03 Forest

[Minion] POET!! how are you?
[Minion] edgar allen poet
[poet] hiya you *g* I'm great, how are you?
[Minion] FANTASTIC
[Minion] NEVER BETTER!!!
[poet] yeah sure you are *L*
* Minion convinces everyone!!!
*** secret_lady (209.34.55) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as secret_lady
enters the clearing between the trees.
[Minion] OH MY GOD
[Minion] three boobs?
[Minion] a penis?
[Minion] no, don't tell me, hairy armpits?
*** secret_lady (209.34.55) has left location Forest
[Minion] same old suspects in and out of the room as usual *L*
[poet] suspects? don't you mean victims? *L*

4/12/03 Doorstep

[ABCDavidKoppel] earlier today I had sand in my crack from iraq
[TedPateCNNNews] THIS JUST IN - I'm here at the 711 headquarters in
Karakachakchakichakchakchakistan - and one of Sadam Hussein's body doubles is trying to
hide..apparently Mr. Hussein lost a leg in warfare yesterday
[ABCDavidKoppel] IN RELATED NEWS, mustache growth on those who look like
saddam is at an all time low, as people have been going back to razors for the first time in 20 years
[TedPateCNNNews] Here behind me you hear gunshots, but in an effort to one-up our
competition, we're going to be reporting on the vicious game of Go Fish between a few local
looters
[ABCDavidKoppel] ANNOUNCEMENT, BREAKING NEWS!!: ABC has learned that
Gillette Sensore Mach III has struck a deal with Saddam for close to a reported 5 million to do a 60
second add spot during the stanley cup finals, to shave off his mustache. Our sources are telling us that
the United States forces will target the arena with the MOAB should this happen.
[TedPateCNNNews] Today's first prize is the very rug in which Sadam Hussein himself once wiped
his feet....and Akhmed is in the lead, with two pairs..the pigs..and the puppies
[Smoovie] I wanna raise my bid with 2 sheep and a donkey
[Smoovie] I know ted pate likes donkeys
[STOPMUTINGME] have u guys ever had a thought that the other one didnt think first?
[ABCDavidKoppel] ABC imbedded reporter jennifer love hewitt is riding a camel south of
Alalalalalakbar, Iraq, she claims that she gets more bounce to the bossom from a humped animal such
as the camel
[TedPateCNNNews] We have a CNN exclusive report - apparently deep in a sandstorm
near Baghdad, the Lock Ness Monster has been found. And in an unrelated story, Elvis was spotted
playing Blackjack with Jimmy Hoffa in Iran
[Ken] *LMFAO*
[ABCDavidKoppel] The United States Special Forces attacked and killed a goat earlier today
as it attempted to close in on a checkpoint. Soldiers were heard yelling stop and BAAAAA attempting
to communicate with the goat but to no avail. Unfortunately no goatspokeperson can be found to
confirm or deny this report. Sources close to ABC news say a search of the goat's corpse revealed no
bombs, only smelly fur
* AussieWoman giggles @ the main
[TedPateCNNNews] *ROTFLMFAO*
[TedPateCNNNews] In an effort to boost moral in the gay section of the Allied Forces -
special entertainment has been brought in, and the barrocks have been made to look more like home.
Apparently, all the gay soldiers tents were put on top of floral shops, extra copies of Gone With the
Wind were brought in, and there were several clinics on how to snap your fingers in a Z formation
[ABCDavidKoppel] unregular iraqi forces have been purchasing Exlax by the pound in
recent days in an attempt to start a movement and get the blockage taken care of, see film at 11
[ABCDavidKoppel] iraqi forces were spotted north of Daboolabutskin earlier today killing a
cat by execution. Apparently the cat was female and going around without a veil on
[ABCDavidKoppel] Osama was quoted earlier today as praising the family of a camel that
lost it's life due to an apparent suicide attack on kurdish goats. "We will give the camel family all the
hay it can eat from here to eternity, we praise Allah for blessing us with such a divine camel". Kurdish
forces dispute this claim saying the camel merely fell off a mountain and died on impact
[Ken] *LMFAO*@ABC
[ABCDavidKoppel] Kurdish goats did create a minor skirmish when they invaded Iraqi
camel grasslands and stole away 5 lbs of prize grass. Authorities are unsure of the purpose, whether
this grass is for eating, or merely for smoking.

4/18/03 Forest

[lovergirl] I told you my school sucks.
[lovergirl] I am in the 7th grade
[lovergirl] Pleasant Valley SUCKS
[Olorin] mmmm.....pleasant valleys....
[fraNk] lots of sucking going on in pleasant valley...
[fraNk] hmm, with all the big boobs and sucking, must be a great place *nods*
[lovergirl] I got a detention for being late to class by one second
[fraNk] I got detention once for licking my teacher's nipples
* Olorin provokes Ellie into giving him detention, since it sounds like fun
[lovergirl] you guys are gross im going to a different room
[fraNk] well, he wasn't too happy, he said no one should be licking his nipples, but I did it
anyway
[lovergirl] Elliejune i like you, you are nice
[fraNk] lovergirl, I like you, you have on tiny bikini style panties
[lovergirl] F*** YOU FRANK
[lovergirl] I AM 13
[fraNk] 13? well, that is older than most catholic boys I go after
[poet] Fstar you fraNk!!! *L*
[fraNk] FSTAR THIS!! (_)_)
[Elliejune] FraNk... Be nice. She's the age of some of my students... My official role in life
is to be a good example
[countryboy] i eather smell pee or bullshit
[fraNk] probably pee
[poet] probably bullshit...
[fraNk] it might be poop, i'm inconsistent
[lovergirl] F*** YOU ALL BESIDES THE TEACHER *SMILES*
[fraNk] brown noser
[fraNk] you should get detention and be spanked on your bare bottom for that
[poet] nobody is gonna Fstar me and get away with it! *snicker*
* Olorin unjams lovergirls capslock
[fraNk] wow, Olorin's statement sounded perverted but wasn't
[fraNk] Olorin jams lovergirl with slapcock
[countryboy] LOL @ frank that was great
[lovergirl] SHUT UP EVERYONE AT SCHOOLS SAYS S*** LIKE I DO
[Elliejune] I don't.
[Elliejune] I don't swear at all.
[fraNk] lovergirl, tell us about the first time you ever kissed another girl with tongue
[fraNk] was it as good as you thought it would be though?
[lovergirl] F*** YOU A**HOLE
[lovergirl] BOYS AT SCHOOL LOVE ME
[poet] I bet they all love you...
[poet] choo choo
[countryboy] pull the train honey
[lovergirl] YEH BUT I HAVE NO CLUE WHY
[Elliejune] Sweetie, that's not such a good thing....
[lovergirl] WHY DO THEY LIKE ME? I THINK ITS BECAUSE OF MY GOOD LOOKS
[Elliejune] I don't think that's a good thing to be proud of.
[fraNk] remember that time you went to school with no panties on under your skirt,
lovergirl, oh hahah, those were the days, billy hid under the bleachers that day
[lovergirl] WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
* Elliejune wishes lovergirl wouldn't shout*
[lovergirl] Sorry, I am just REALLY p***** off at frank
[Elliejune] That's his purpose in life, love.
[poet] at fraNk? whatever for, he's the perfect gentleman
*** Electra (12.3.177) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as Electra enters the
clearing between the trees.
[poet] where did fraNk go....are you hiding in Ej's buffer?
[Electra] ride him hard and put him back in the stables.
[poet] *snicker*
[Electra] yippee yiiii yaaaahhh
[lovergirl] I am leaving now and going to the 11-15 room
* poet goes back to thumb twiddling* more entertaining
* Olorin steals poet's thumbs
* Olorin replaces poet's thumbs with carrots
* poet looks about for wabbits*

4/24/03 Forest

*** YourboY (216.58.48) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as YourboY
enters the clearing between the trees.
[fraNk] MY BOY?
[fraNk] holy crap, who got pregnant?
[fraNk] and why wasn't I told??? OH GOD

4/24/03 Forest

*** kes (12.147.153) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as kes enters the clearing
between the trees.
* kes licks poet* hello
[poet] heya damSel!
* kes bites fraNk* hello!
[poet] she's always so gentle with me *snicker*
* kes bites poet*
[poet] damn it and I thought I was special
[fraNk] you are special, now get the **** on the short bus and be quiet, we are going for ice
cream
* kes pats poet with one hand, gets a straightjacket with the other* You are special poet...
very special
* poet pouts* I don't want to be one of THOSE special people *L*

4/24/03 Forest

[fraNk] I wonder what we can do with this 20 lbs of butter we bought yesterday at Sam's
Club, and I don't know why she wanted a dozen live lobster either. 1000 packs of wrigleys spearmint
gum was going overboard too, what was she thinking???
[kes] what, you've never been bobbing for spearmint gum in a vat of live lobsters in melted
butter?
[poet] maybe she was thinking she would cook for herself to avoid those chicken accidents
[kes] You haven't lived until you've been bobbing for spearmint gum in a vat of live
lobsters in melted butter!
[fraNk] what about this 5 gallon bucket of whiskey?
* poet thinks kes maybe into a little s & m *L*
* kes chugs the whiskey, then pulls poet into the vat of live buttered lobsters* Oh, baby!
[poet] no no I don't like pain!
[kes] ok, no pain *pulls lobster's off of poet's ass*
[poet] *LOL* wait!
* kes reapplies the lobsters to poet's ass* ok, I'm waiting, now what?
* kes pulls fraNk into the lobster pit*
[fraNk] that lobster needs butter, and that ass needs gum
[poet] a little to the left
[fraNk] i think it's possible we are breaking several laws here, except maybe in arkansas
[poet] no gum to the ass!
* kes applies fraNk to poet's ass with gum*
[fraNk] oh my, sticky, yet interesting
[poet] quick, kes, take piccy's..I'll use them to blackmail fraNk!
* kes takes photos* A little ot the left, yeah baby!
* kes butters everyone up* and goodnight all!
[poet] I've got to run(said in a brit accent) I'll be back later
[kes] we've buttered and gummed fraNk, then we run off
*** Signoff poet (64.12.97).
*** Signoff kes (12.147.153).
[fraNk] woah haha

4/27/03 private messages

*after a particularly strange conversation on the main…*

*Scarface* (207.195.86) why would you wanna wrestle nude with a pig
sent to -> it's quite erotic, the pig feels so good against the naked skin
*Scarface* (207.195.86) You must be from north America
sent to -> i'm from jamaica
sent to -> there is a pig licking my nuts right now
sent to -> it feels SOOOOOOOO good MMM yah
*Scarface* (207.195.86) your also sick
sent to -> i'm quite healthy, thank you *S*
sent to -> I'm from Jamaica man
*Scarface* (207.195.86) really where in jamaica
sent to -> Maofoota
sent to -> want to see naked pictures of me and the pig? *S*
*Scarface* (207.195.86) fuck no
sent to -> why not? I'm truly a sex god
*Scarface* (207.195.86) I doubt your a sex god because I am a sex god and everyone know
it
sent to -> you want to try my pig out then? my pig will be the judge of the true sex god
*Scarface* (207.195.86) your pig couldn't handle it
*Scarface* (207.195.86) fucking liar
sent to -> no seriously, my pig wants to try this out, maybe you could get the pig from behind and I
could get a snoutjob?
*Scarface* (207.195.86) your a fucking sick asshole probaly some 40 year old jacking off
over his computer to this
sent to -> no way, I don't need to choke my chicken when I have a perfectly good pig covered in
lotion, understand?
*Scarface* (207.195.86) you don't even have a pig
(71sec) sent to -> oh yes I do
(87sec) sent to -> I have a beautiful little pig, want to put your finger in his little cute butt?
(326sec) sent to -> nothing more to say?

4/27/03 20plus

[Linus] hey any indians here
[fraNk] i'm an indian
[fraNk] AH OH AHO, AH OH AH OH
* frank rides a horse and shoots you with an arrow