12/18/01 Bulletin Board

Pepper911 (#209.207.51#) Sun Dec 17 23:03:21 PST 2000
Alamak ops account: $30. Level 12 account for you to abuse: $85. Using a comma? Priceless. There
are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's alamak.

12/21/00 Forest

*** rudolph (133.1.149) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as rudolph enters
the clearing between the trees.
[rudolph] MY NOSE IS RED
[rudolph] HOW HAS THIS OCCURED???
*** dumbo (61.0.135) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as dumbo enters the
clearing between the trees.
[dumbo] HI FOLKS ANY ONE FOR A CHATE
[rudolph] I CHAT WITH YOU DUMBO!!! YOU SEEM NICE
[dumbo] HI RUDOLPH
[rudolph] DUMBO IS A NICE NAME TELL ME ABOUT IT?
[dumbo] HEY RUDOLPH WHICH CONTRY R U FROM
[rudolph] I AM FROM THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
[dumbo] RIGH NOW MY SOUL IS DYING FOR A LONG CHAT A GOOD PERSON
[rudolph] YOU COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE FOR A LONG PERSON AND A GOOD
CHAT THAT IS ME
[dumbo] U THERE RUDOLPH
[rudolph] I AM HERE DUMBO
[dumbo] R U TOO LONG A PERSON
[rudolph] NO NOT TOO LONG ONLY JUST LONG ENOUGH
[dumbo] I AM 27/INDIAN FROM PORT BLAIR DOWN SOUTH OF INDIA
[rudolph] YOU INDIAN?? SO YOU LIVE IN TEEPEE?
[rudolph] I WORK WITH SAND AND OIL
[dumbo] OH SO WORK FOR A OIL COMPANY
[rudolph] YES BIG OIL COMPANY OWNED BY SADDAM
[dumbo] DOSE HE SHOWER MISSILES ON U
[rudolph] NO I NO THINK HE EVER SHOWERS
[dumbo] BUY HIM A SOAP
[dumbo] HOWS UAE TOO HOT I AM SURE
[rudolph] IT IS SO FUN HOT BUT WE NO CAN DRINK AND NO CAN
MASTURBATE : (
[dumbo] HOW OLD R U
[rudolph] I AM 15 PARSECTS OLD
[rudolph] PARSECTS IS INCREMENT OF ARABIAN TIME
[rudolph] DO YOU WORSHIP COWS DUMBO?
[dumbo] I DONT BELIVEIN COWS
*** tickles (203.134.116) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as tickles enters
the clearing between the trees.
[rudolph] TICKLES I WELCOME YOU
[tickles] okay...you guys obviously believe in capital letters though huh
[tickles] ~whacks them both with a caps lock~
[rudolph] WHAT? YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN COWS?? THEY ARE REAL I SEE THEM
SOMETIMES IN AMERICA WHEN I TRIP THERE

later on in 40plus

*** fraNk (209.50.5) 40plus / Welcome!!!
[fraNk] Yo suckas!!! Happy Hannakuh
[rudolph] FRANK VERY NICE NAME!!! HELLO TO FRANK AND WANT TO HAVE
SEX?
[fraNk] Uh only if you are that sensual rudolph guglioni
*** KICK WARNING User rudolph warned by Alita 1387 ( 40plus ) ( soliciting )
[fraNk] ah damn I never have any luck picking up strange foreign men in here *L*
[Alita] maybe next time .. fraNk
[rudolph] I NO UNDERSTAND??? IT SAY SOMEONE WARN ME FOR REASON
ALITA?
[Alita] maybe if ya read it a few times it might sink in rudolph *S*
[fraNk] rudolf, that means that you haven't let everyone know what you really want
[rudolph] OH??? NO UNDERSTAND FRANK? YOU HAVE NICE BUTT AND MAYBE
SEX SEX SEX LONG TIME???
[fraNk] *L* no thank you.. my butt may be nice but it's off limits to all foreigners until
further notice
[Alita] Exit Only . fraNk?
[rudolph] ME NO CARE WANT TO LICK AND HOLD FRANK AND HAVE HIM TO
SEX WITH LOTS OF TIMES
[fraNk] I am thinking that there is a severe language barrier here that someone is not quite
breaking through
*** Kick rudolph by Alica (vulgar).
[fraNk] as endearing as a night with a cute and caring reindeer sounds I must say a big
emphatic bouncing bright red shiny NO to that

12/21/00 40plus

[RAINA] gotta run
[fraNk] when people say *gotta run* do you think they log off the computer and just take
off at a dead sprint?? or do they perhaps get a pace going.. more like a long distance runner?
[Roxanne] dont know what anyone else thinks but that man is a pig
[fraNk] ME? a PIG?
[fraNk] OINK
[fraNk] SQUEAL
[Roxanne] not u frank..laughs
[fraNk] DAMN!!! I can't ever fullfill anyone's animal passion fantasies *L*

01/04/01 Teens16_19

[Jessica_16] FOR PEOPLE THAT WANT COLOR TYPE THIS AND ASK THE OPS
FOR COLOR /whois #
[slappy] whois# can i have color?

01/04/01 Hot_Tub

[fraNk] Suzie.. did your parents have any kids that lived
[Suzie] come again frank?
[Zapatistas] fraNk has come again, Suzie *gargles*

01/04/00 Hot_Tub

[Christina] anybody wanna babysit my two year old wont let me study
[fraNk] Christina.. put crisco on your two year old roll her in flour.. then toss her in the
oven at 450 degrees for an hour. Not only will you never be bothered again.. but you will have a tasty
meal that goes great with carrots potatoes and red wine
[Christina] chomps on sweetNsour pork
[fraNk] Christina.. I just gave you the friggin recipe for sweetNsour 2 year old.. and now
you are eating some poor pig?

01/04/01 Hot_Tub

[Zapatistas] That pike was a damn good lover... and I put that salmon's muscles to damn
good use.
[fraNk] I prefer Pirahna Zap but then I've always had a little S and M in me
[Zapatistas] Is it bad to use fish for sex...? If they agree, I mean? I swear it mouthed "yes" to
my firmness.
[Zapatistas] I sure get enough sex... plenty of rivers and roads around here *nods* If I'm
really lucky I can abduct a hedgehog or two come the winter.
* Pac hasnt made love to anyone in the last nine months or more* im still in a pretty decent
mood.. so there ya go...
[fraNk] Pac you liar you horizontally bopped me just the other night *L*

01/04/01 Hot_Tub

[FruityPebbles] do you wish for your balls to be pemanantly removed and shoved up your
ass? cause if thats what you want.. then continue
[fraNk] Oh my god Fruity where do I sign up for that????
*FruityPebbles laffs* fraNkums your already on the list

01/04/01 Hot_Tub

[FERRYTALE] anybody likes The Cranberry's?????
[Swifty] The Cranberry's are shit
[fraNk] Well Swifty if that is true I just took a cranberry and I had to wipe THREE
TIMES!!!! I hate that : (

01/04/01 Hot_Tub

[Goat] Meg I get off Probation in 3 weeks ........ It's time to Get STONED
[Zapatistas] Probation...? I was on that SHIT for a year. What were you on it for, Goat?
[fraNk] is probation a drug?
[fraNk] can you get addicted to probation?
[FruityPebbles] probation sucks.. i was on probation for 9 months
[fraNk] probation must have some shitty side effects when you come back down eh fruity?
[fraNk] I took probation once and got totally messed up... I drove my car into a supermarket
and got out and started making out with a 16 lb butterball turkey

01/05/01 Forest

[midas] I heard that a baby craps it pants 4.6 times a day
[66Darien99] they had to add in that extra .6...
[fraNk] sometimes when buddy is in the house he eats the baby's poop
[Caeridwen] no that is the cats poop
[Caeridwen] actually he does he got in trouble
[midas] no the cat just shits in your bed
[66Darien99] they had to account for that missing .4 of a turd.... where would it go?
[Caeridwen] no the cat doesn't shit in the bed
[Caeridwen] he drinks pee it is bad
[66Darien99] ewww..
[66Darien99] that is one derranged cat...
[Caeridwen] my sisters doxen pees in her bed though
[Caeridwen] it is the dog not the cat my cat is smart
[66Darien99] wow... now that's a family pulling together... one pees and the other drinks
it...
[fraNk] perhaps someone snuck that .4 of a turd into some brownies for the local law
enforcement personell? hmm?
[Caeridwen] my cat looks at the dog thinkin hey you knumbskull that isn't almond rocca
that is my poop

01/05/01 Teens16_19

[sweetgril4u] i need a life
[RoboBob] OH MY GOD HI THERE sweetgril4u I NEED YOU SO BAD --- so i can cook
up some hamburgers and brauts during the next football game

01/12/01 Forest

*in this section, keep in mind that fraNk has no idea who Mell or Dejah are*

[Mell] hey frank heard from Dejah?
[fraNk] yah Dejah is in the hospital : (
[Mell] she is? when did u hear from her?
[stryfe] Is this like a "joke" I am not getting?
[Mell] why is she in hospital??
[Mell] frank??
[stryfe] was she the girl you told me got hit by a bus?
[Mell] FRANK TALK TO ME
[Mell] i need 2 know
[Mell] she is like my best friend
[Mell] FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[fraNk] she is pregnant.. everyone is really surprised
[Mell] i knew that but i didn't know she was in hospital
[fraNk] No they found out she is having twins now and that they may be conjoined
[fraNk] I'm talking to her aunt right now about it on the phone
[Mell] huh?
[Mell] which aunt?
[Mell] briony?
[Mell] itz impossible 4 them to tell its only been less than a month
[fraNk] yes briony
[Mell] why is she talking to YOU??
[fraNk] aunt briony says that she went in because of some other stuff that not a lot of people
know and that the ultrasound shows possible conjoined twins
[Mell] how do u know briony?
[fraNk] mainly through dejah but sometimes we talk... we met when we all got together last
summer
[Mell] when did she go in?
[fraNk] last night real late
[Mell] frank are you serious??????????
[Mell] i knew she was pregnant i was the first one she told.
[Mell] where is briony?
[Mell] still in brisbane?
[fraNk] yah but she may go be with Dejah if it becomes serious... everyone is very worried
[Mell] can u tell bri to tell dejah to msg me please
[fraNk] yah she says Dejah wants to but that someone is trying to keep her from talking to
you
[Mell] who? not her mum?
[Mell] can u ask her who?
[fraNk] she's off the phone now
[Mell] can u get bri to msg me?
[fraNk] I guess briony may be going on a cruise.. I think that would be great don't you?
[Mell] what?
[Mell] are you serious about dejah?
[fraNk] wait she just called back...
[Mell] can u get her to msg me?
[fraNk] hahahaahahaha oh my god she says 'fished in fished in party time excellent woo
woo woo woo!!!"
[fraNk] I guess she was only kidding hahahahha oh my briony is so funny *L* she really
had me going this time
[Mell] plz?
[Mell] what r u saying bri was lying
[fraNk] I guess she was joking
[fraNk] she is so funny hahaha
[stryfe] That kidder.
[Mell] frank?
[Mell] i was really worried
[Mell] well goodbye fraNk i gotta go
*** Signoff Mell (63.34.203).

01/12/01 Forest

* tongue farts
[tongue] ahhhhhh!
[midas] if you are going to share your flatulance with us please don't eat beans next time
[tongue] "There's Klingons on the starboard bound starboard bound starboard bound..."
[midas] hey william shatner...calm down...just call priceline

01/12/01 Forest

[fraNk] guess where I went the other day with some buddies of mine
[belldandy_] where?
[fraNk] to a sex store
[fraNk] it was really quite interesting
[belldandy_] oooh. I've never been to a sex store.
[belldandy_] what you buy there furter?
[fraNk] well you can't buy sex there but the there were some very interesting devices there..
I would have to say that if I was a female I would probably have spent about 50 bucks
[belldandy_] and.... hooow many females did you see in the store while you were there?
[DarkSilence] I've been to a sex store with my girlfriend. They're very fun.
[DarkSilence] But they don't let you try out the toys. :-(
[fraNk] *LMAO* if they would let you try them out I would bring a date AND a digital
camera
[belldandy_] I get my kinky stuff off the internet.
[fraNk] seriously.. to be blunt... if you aren't with the real thing I don't think it's worth
buying a piece of plastic to hump. At least for guys we have two hands *L* But for girls good lord
some of that stuff makes me think guys could be obsolete within short order if widespread use of toys
were to occur. Well other than our wallets
[belldandy_] hehehe. well if it makes the guys of the world feel better I as a girl have never
felt the need for plastic pleasure... unless you count credit cards.
[fraNk] hmmmm... I didn't think the slot was the correct size for a credit card. Does it feel
okay?? I mean seriously, is it the raised numbers that give you pleasure or the magnetic stripping???
[belldandy_] ooouch... you know how a paper cut feels? how bout a cardboard cut... I'd
assume a PLASTIC cut hirts worse hehe.
[DarkSilence] Definitely the magnetic strip.
[belldandy_] I think it's the magnetic stripping. Its the part that holds all that lovely
information. Its the part that buys me all the crap I dont need.
[DarkSilence] You've had cardboard cuts on your beaver?
[fraNk] *L* come on belly... get pi to buy you a real one, that stupid thing he made out of a
cereal box was bound to get wet and fall apart *L*
[belldandy_] yeah what DS said *L*
[fraNk] I don't know.. out of all the most irritating things to be cut by I think a paper cut
takes the cake.. I think I would sooner be cut by a chain saw.
[belldandy_] we're assuming here. I've had em on my hands and I could only guess at how
much one of those would hurt down there *winces*
[belldandy_] mmm... try cutting yourself on a card board box and then being forced to
make lemonade. Ugh... I'd sooner die than go back to work for Pretzel Time =P
[DarkSilence] A cut from corrogated cardboard is the absolute worst cut. Or envelope
flaps. *shudders*
[belldandy_] I prefer the real thing to what I assume lifeless plastic feels like.
[fraNk] holy christ?? you were making lemonade with your.. fun slot??? is there film of
this anywhere?
[DarkSilence] It's called "watersports", fraNk. *L*
[belldandy_] meh? I'm not THAT talented furter *winks*
[Peeny] HI FRANK *pulls him aside and whispers* 'whats a fun slot?'
[belldandy_] a fun slot is the thing you slide your credit card through to buy things with.
[belldandy_] aparently I can make lemonade with mine.
* Peeny would never have guessed.....* But I can see the fun in that... oh yeeeeeeess.. that is
fun.. plastic fun.... well bell that sounds kinda cool *swipes her plastic down belldandy's fun slot for
some icy cold lemonidge*
[fraNk] good luck... my credit card is impotent
[belldandy_] mine is maxed out. I had to banish it to it's wallet to recover.
[DarkSilence] I have three credit cards.
[belldandy_] WOAH!!!! freakish!
[fraNk] HOLY SHIT... DS is like one of those porn freak people *L*
[DarkSilence] And no one has enough slots for me. c|:^(~
[fraNk] Oh when I whip out my credit card, slots just open up left and right *L*
[belldandy_] the department store people must love you furter.
[DarkSilence] If I cover my credit cards with tin foil my partners call me "Edward
ScissorCrotch"
[belldandy_] I admit that they won't wait on you till you flash your credit card though.