3/14/99 Alt_Life
* fraNk (#209.50.5#) Welcome, Alamak Information and Cookbook Room!!! Step up to the stove
and show us your talents with some baked alaska.
[fraNk] darn, baked alaska is hard to do, can't I just make some toast and butter it liberally???
[Minx] toast and butter? That's Baked Arkansas
[fraNk] *lmfao* baked arkansas??? ha ha ha ha

7/17/99

*** kNarferendum (209.50.5) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[kNarferendum] ahh, hello all, my trip to 40plus was a massive failure
*** kNarferendum has been kicked by CHER (get lost.. Insults.. ).
* RuthiJo laffz at fraNk
*** fraNk (209.50.5) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing
between the trees.
[fraNk] see what I mean?
[fraNk] I don't take well to insults, as you can see by a /sb of the area
[RuthiJo] hiya fraNk!! *hugz*
* Afridity laffs at kNarf*
[SweetAHunny] ohhh fraNk!!! you are sooo dreamy!!*swoons*
[fraNk] I know, I do comb my hair at least once a month
RuthiJo /sb in 40plus

9/21/99 Think_Cafe

*** Maggie (205.246.19) Think_Cafe / puts down some books, gets a coffee, and joins the
discussion.
[spade] maggie's here to spice up the chat room
[kNarf] I am 7'9" tall, 115 lbs, with 36 C chest and I never shave, anywhere
[kNarf] I could forsee maggie kicking your butt
[Tongue] Wow, a gorilla
* kNarf eats a banana and picks head lice off of Tongue
[Tongue] *laughs at kNarf*
* kNarf swings around the trees with silver hair on back and then makes loud hoo hoo noises while
thumping chest mightily
[Maggie] i do not even know the two of you and yet you make comments about me, are you really
that judgemental...I guess so... what does that say about you? What's that about?
[kNarf] It says I'm a big ape, Maggie, so why don't you come over here and respect my apeness
[Maggie] r to say hello or ask if you are discussing anything interesting or intelligent... since you
seem to be more concerned about me...really I am no one...
* kNarf is suddenly confused, mistakes Maggie for a piece of Samsonite luggage in the durability
test and starts beating her
* kNarf terrorizes the cappicino machine
[spade] hits maggie with a stick ...
[kNarf] *** Maggie - (205.246.19) - Think_Cafe - failed the luggage test 299 seconds.

8/22/99

*** BAYS_OF_HAIL (_209.240.200_) Forest / time seems to stop magically as someone
enters the clearing between the trees.
*** Minion is now known as BALES_OF_HAY.
[BALES_OF_HAY] Hello BAYS OF HAIL!!
[BAYS_OF_HAIL] ha...thats really funny...rolls her eyes*

3/30/99 Think Cafe

[Blue_Shirt] Then saxman could eat different fruit and have sex with somebody else and maybe go
for a swim in the ocean and look at fish.
[kNarf] Because, Blue Shirt, I like to eat meat, sex on the beach is usually akin to grinding a
sandpaper log into a hole, and basically without the bad side of life we would never really respect the good
times.
[kNarf] I EAT MEAT TO PROVE THAT I AM A MAN, I EAT IT RAW, I DON'T EVEN WAIT
FOR THE COW TO BE BUTCHERED, I CHASE IT DOWN WITH A KNIFE AND FORK AND DIG
RIGHT IN. SURE, I GET KICKED AND GORED A LOT, BUT I AM A MAN,
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!

4/3/99

[EasterfraNkie] don't let your dingdong dangle in the dirt, cuz if it hits a rock it's really gonna hurt,
so stuff it in your pants or stuff it up your shirt, but don't let your ding dong dangle in the dirt.
[Pez] *LOL* fraNk. Where'd you hear that?
* nightshade laffs * very cute fraNk I'll have to remember that one
[EasterfraNkie] It is an old nursery school rhyme they used to tell us "gifted" students, if you know
what i mean *snicker*
[Kahlan] lmao frank

7/28/99

[Amalthea] Would anyone like a nice chain letter?
[fraNk] would I like a nice chain letter?? yes, and while you are at it, drill a 4 inch hole in my skull
and release the fire ants

8/5/99

*** SurelyYouJest (_209.240.200_) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone
enters the clearing between the trees.
[fraNk] Hi SYJ!! my old pal
[SurelyYouJest] *LOL* fraNk my old gf...how you doin sweetcheeks?
[fraNk] I am fine, but my vibrator batteries ran out 8L*
[SurelyYouJest] *L* Thats too bad fraNk what size?
[CaeridwenLocke] damn mines busted alltogether the spring to the top broke
[CaeridwenLocke] needs a bigger one anyway
[Vermillion] spring? I'll just leave that alone
[SurelyYouJest] I wouln't brag about that Locke! *L*
[fraNk] Mine is the biggest, the TallyWacker 2000, it runs off a car battery
[CaeridwenLocke] it must be the smallestone
[CaeridwenLocke] on the market
[fraNk] It is three feet long with spikes and it has ants living in it
[CaeridwenLocke] its only like 3 inches wide
[CaeridwenLocke] it takes double As
[fraNk] gretel got kicked again
[CaeridwenLocke] wanted a jelly one anyway .
[Lord_Douchebag] oh. when i was younger. we didnt have your fancy vibrators... .we had to use
rocks.. and we liked it
[fraNk] My vibrator has a cow prod on the end of it and a chicken living in the base of it that pecks
you
[CaeridwenLocke] would use a rock at this point
[darkestDAys] OMG *LMAO at fraNk*
[fraNk] *LMFGDAO* Lord D, that has to be the funniest thing I've heard tonite
[jonny] lmfao@fraNk in and out in and out in and out in and out in and out in and out in and out in
and out in and out in and out in and out
[Vermillion] three inches wide..what are you trying to do kill your twat?
[fraNk] three inches, that is nothing, mine is 12 inches across, I nicknamed it "False Labor"
[CaeridwenLocke] what are you talking about its small
* jonny doesnt own a vibrator or a dildo or any of that gross stuff * actually...i have never even seen
one
[darkestDAys] and 1 and stretch and 2 and stretch *LMAO*
[SurelyYouJest] *LOL@fraNk*
[CaeridwenLocke] put two magic markers together then you get the idea of the size
[fraNk] I think jonny is lying, I sent her one in the male
[Caeridwen] you know what other weird thing is in that kit
[Caeridwen] anal beads
[Caeridwen] you guys ever try those before?
[fraNk] My anal beads started as bowling balls, then I drilled holes in them and ran 5 gauge steel
chain in between them, they are oh so tight and feel oh so good
* Em_Me sometimes wonders about fraNks sanity*
[fraNk] just for a change I put tire spikes on one of the anal beads
[fraNk] or if you so choose, I used snow studs
[Vermillion] *LOL* I hope you lubed them up real good frank..I use wd40 on my anal beads..and
my pet hamster just does the rest
[Dysfunkshonal] ahh pet hampster..i heard soime sick shit about those thingz *L*
[fraNk] wow, your hamster must be strong, I used a mule
[Lord_Douchebag] anal bleeds

8/7/99

[fraNk] Hmm, I wanted a sandwich tonite, but you know what they say, a sandwich just isn't a
sandwich...
[fraNk] (mental note: do not wack off into the miracle whip any more, and get a new bottle
tomorrow)
[AnalRapedWolf] MIRACLE WHIP ROCKS!
[tulip] Wow Frank - you really know how to turn a girl on!
[fraNk] I know, tulip, must be my dirty food talk
[fraNk] well, I think I'll donate my old bottle to ARWolf for a good laugh or two
[Shadow_Elf] heh
[Chino] hmmmmm...you do that too, fraNk?
[AnalRapedWolf] (mental note: your life is over cause fraNk ruined Miracle Whip)
[Vermillion] miracle whip? good thing I haven't had anything that required mayonaise
[fraNk] I have a benevelent gerbil in my pants
* darkestDAys acks* mayo or any other version thereof
[fraNk] I remember giving ARW a sandwich once, and wow, complaints over the salad dressing
being salty, I mean, really, I was very liberal with the salad dressing, lots of it, took like 20 minutes to spread it
on
[Vermillion] I had a benevolant hamster in my pants..hey maybe we should get together sometime
and start a support group
[Laud] Argh! There's a fly dive bombing me!! DIE YOU BASTARD!! DIE!!
[Shadow_Elf] haha.. frank
[Thantos] Greetings everyone... (bows to the ladies)
[fraNk] Hello Thantos, how is your gerbil doing?
*fraNk suddenly attacks Laud's fly with his meaty spear
[Shadow_Elf] there's caffeine in embalming fluid?.. haha
[Vermillion] of course theres caffine in embalming fluid..they're preparing us for burial early ...real
early
[fraNk] Oh, I thought there was caramel in embalming fluid, and here I had all these apples and all
this formaldihyde ready for halloween, shit!!! that sucks, guess i'll have to use the old stand by, razor blades!!

8/13/99

* darkestDAys wonders if fraNk has heard of 8ball*
* fraNk suddenly causes mellon's panties to EXPLODE!!!
[fraNk] yo, fraNkie goes stupid when he's full of 8ball!!
[Juni] hehehehe explosive panties
[fraNk] Old English 800
[fraNk] and a one word expression of that stuff *YUCK*
[fraNk] I'll take a michelob light please!!
[mellon] *laughs*
* Juni sticks some dynamite down 6pack's undies*
[Juni] he's so shy
[fraNk] ID?? you want ID?? you son of a ***Alamak has been forced to censor this post, thank you
[Juni] he never talks on the main
[fraNk] who the hell is 6 pack and can I wash my dirty undies on his stomach??
[mellon] *LOL* dont laugh at my panties Juni!!!
[darkestDAys] explosive undies? *l*
[Juni] no u cannot
[darkestDAys] and i meant the group 8ball *l*
[fraNk] 6PACK SHUKAR is here, promoting his new albumn, "Crunches in da Hood"
[fraNk] I feel that promoting 6PACK as Tupac's long lost brother would be hurtful to 6PACK's
family image
[Juni] *L* frank shaddap
[fraNk] I step back from the homeys in the hood and say, I see that you guys are gonna drink all
day, while you sit and let your gut waste away, I'm a gonna do some sit ups all day
* Juni throws frank's underwear in the freezer*
[fraNk] Hmm, that sucked
[fraNk] usually my nightly ritualistic chatting is more fluid and entertaining, I do apologize for my
lack of mental fortitude tonite
[Juni] I want my money back!
* darkestDAys sings* ...8ball...let me grip the mike and rip the track...
* darkestDAys laughs at fraNk* hmmm...amusing enough
[FireWater] *wondes where all the hot ladies are tonight* Hello?
* Foxe thinks: VISIT ME SITE
[mellon] oh i am nuts oh i am NUTZ
[fraNk] Visit Me Site?? are you Irish?
[fraNk] The hot ladies are in my pants sitting next to my satchel
[darkestDAys] always after me lucky charms...heh
[fraNk] Oh, don't touch my satchel, ladies, you are trying to get nutty
[fraNk] me satchel is magically delicious
* darkestDAys snickers*
[fraNk] silly satchel, nuts are for chicks
[mellon] *LOL* i am irish *L*
[fraNk] whoops, wrong cereal
[Juni] *LOL* frank you are Horrible!
* Foxey thinks: my site is www.angelfire.com/sk/CypherForest please visit it
[fraNk] you thinks that is it??
[mellon] arggg
[fraNk] what is Cypher?
[fraNk] arggggg matey, it twas the biggest satchel me old eye ever did see
[darkestDAys] it's like a small rodent...kinda like a gopher but smaller
[fraNk] Foxey has syphillis?
[Foxey] what my site? Me knows thats what it be me thinks: is me talking
[fraNk] I heard you could buy a bag of syphillis in Mexico cheap as hell, me and my buddy are
thinking of driving there cuz it's expensive here
[mellon] *slaps fraNk* dont mock me bitch
[Foxey] syphillis???
[fraNk] a dime bag here is like 300 dollars, in Me hee ko it be 22.50
* darkestDAys LMAO at mellon* hehehe
[Juni] *laffs*
[fraNk] Yes, syphillis, the gift that keeps on giving
[Foxey] it means Secret
[fraNk] well, my time may be short indeed, I hear a stirring in the other room that could erupt into
"WHAT THE @!@ $#! @#% @# !@# #%& @$% $%^ are you doing on the computer at 2 in the (**ing
morning??
[Foxey] is it like pot???
[fraNk] Well, if I had a bag of syphillis, i would keep it a secret also, Foxey!!
[fraNk] I really can't find much of a corralation between pot and syphillis, I don't think smoking
syphillis will make you get a buzz
[suxus] HELP HELP I NEED TO REPORT THE OP MINION FOR ABUSE FOR KICKING ME
TODAY FOR NO REASON BUT I DONT KNOW HOW!!! CAN SOME OP PLEAZE HELP ME??
[mellon] *LOL* hahahahaha
[fraNk] satan1, you have been smoking syphillis again, I know it!!
[fraNk] Oh, that bastard Minion, he kicked me today for no reason also
[Foxey] well I don't smoke anythin I'm clean as a new whistle or an elven arse
[fraNk] I see it in satan1's eyes, that distant look, that penicillin bottle in his pocket, yep, syphillis
*L*
[suxus] HOW DO I REPORT MINION FOR ABUSE??? HE TRIED TO FORCE ME INTO
CYBER TODAY THEN I SAID NO SO THEN HE UMMMMMM KICKED ME...CAN HE DO THAT?
[fraNk] Elves are always smoking weed, president clinton is an elf
[fraNk] Yes, he can do that, he is a CyberSexCop
[suxus] I FELT SO VIOLATED BY HIM
[fraNk] well, I can violate you in a much nicer way if you so choose
[suxus] HELP HELP HELP HELP ME NOW.
[Foxey] HE IS NOT I"M AN ELF CAUSE I"m SHORT HALF-ELVES ARE REALLY TALL SO
THERE
[mellon] *laughs*
[fraNk] Foxey, I love it when you get so masichistical with me, now whip me hard and call me
baby fraNk
[suxus] I SAID HELP ME YOU FUCKERS.
[Foxey] I'm A male fox a smaller version of today's fox so THERE GAY MAN
[fraNk] wow, that language is offensive, where are the ops when you need them
[darkestDAys] baby fraNk *LMAO* oooh...diapers too?
*** Kick suxus by Adonia (lang).
[Adonia] right here
[fraNk] Oh, mellon can put me in a diaper and call me whatever she wants to, as long as I get desitin
rubbed on me buttocks
[Foxey] where's your mama fraNk???
[fraNk] my mama?? hell if I know, I'm a test tube baby
[fraNk] I always enjoy a room with a view
[Adonia] would you two knock it off?
[fraNk] or a womb with a view if you prefer
[darkestDAys] womb *snickers*
[Foxey] well then where's your mama of a scientist that created you???
[fraNk] Oh, Dr. Diguhpottawatamie?? he is busy cloning a better version of me as we speak
[Foxey] AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANOTHER FRANK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[fraNk] Bye Foxeypoo
[Foxey] EEEEEWWWWWWW GAYMAN fraNk!!!
[fraNk] It's German, not gayman *L*