4/30/00 Forest

*** TangKitty (208.151.104) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[kNarfinger] damn, I wanted KoolAidPussy
[kNarfinger] or perhaps CokeCat
*** youre_lover (152.163.213) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[kNarfinger] what the..? I thought my lover was getting those crabs taken care of, and yet, HERE
SHE IS, TROLLUPING ON ALAMAK!!!
* Bayne laffs* poor kNarf
[kNarfinger] that brings me to my next comment, what the hell does trolluping mean?
[kNarfinger] does it involve sexual situations with Trolls? and if so, are you limited to sex under
bridges?
[poette] sleazy traipsing?
[Bayne] i think poette is right on that one , but if kNarf is, I think the location is optional
* poette is always right *grin*
[kNarfinger] and while trolluping, are you required to harass billy goats?
[poette] isn't it s'posed to be trolloping?
[poette] trolluping could be something else entirely different
[Bayne] hmm I think the goat thing is optional, either harass or get them in on the action
[Bayne] hmm I'll pass
[kNarfinger] pass? interesting, I could have sworn that on 2nd and goal from the 1 yard line you
would run
[Bayne] nope, i'd pass, short hand to the right
[kNarfinger] good idea, fake the hand off left then do a naked bootleg, gives the quarterback the
option to run it in
[Bayne] yup yup yup take it you played to kNarf?

5/03/00 Forest

[belldandy] Well I never went to the cellar. And yeah, they smell like lemons n cherries.
[fraNkaholic] Cellar people smell of lemonade and cherry cobbler? What nonsense is this, must you
always lead me down the road of immorallity and lewdness?
[Ruby] I hate it when forest regs move to other rooms. it pisses me off
[fraNkaholic] I hate it when non forest people come in here, and piss on me
[Ruby] yeah, non foresters just don't know how to piss on a person correctly.

5/04/00 Alt_Life

* Blue stole xena's old hammock from the forest and brought it here... cause sigs kept peeing on my
couch.
[kNarf] NOOOOOOOOO!!! I get Xena's hammock, you fiend!! *L*
[kNarf] I called her about 6 months ago, just for the hell of it *L* asked her about that bulldozer that
was for sale, she was like, who the hell is this, what bulldozer, are you on drugs? *L*
[Blue] kNarf -- *LOL* *thinks about calling her...oh what havok I could wreck!
* Blue ask her not to report her hammock stolen ...hehe.
*** kNarf is now known as Xena.
[Xena] oh my god, hmmmmm, I guess I was wrong, john killed them
[michael] hmmm
*** Xena is now known as kNarf.
[Blue] ack!!!
[michael] she hasn't been around in a really long time
[Blue] just like mine was killed *sobs... oh the HORROR *wrings his hands and wails.* *knashes
his teeth for good measure
[kNarf] well, that is crazy, that is one op I thought would never disappear *L* *ponders renewing
Xena as a registered user for 12 dollars *L*
* Blue ponders the same thing... race ya too it! haha.
[michael] LOL
[kNarf] heh, michael, you are making me feel not like a newbie, me and Blue are newbies, STOP
OH LORD MAKE HIM STOP I FEEL OLD AND DECREPIT *L*
* Blue is most definately a newbie ...just ask Ruby..she just arrived.
[kNarf] I'm going to have to look up decrepit, I don't even know if I spelled it right, I suppose it
means crusty and ancient *L*
* kNarf is so new, doesn't even know what a bulldozer is, I'm just a caveman, frozen for ten thousand
years, then thawed by your scientists
*** KRISTY_les (63.25.254) has left location Alt_Life
[kNarf] KRISTY_less forgot an s, I wonder why she has no KRISTY *L*
[kNarf] KRISTY, you can find that on sale in aisle nine *points as though he works at super
walmart*
[michael] you a greeter at walmart?
*** Serendipity (#203.109.135#) Alt_Life / Constructive discussion, no bashing, no public
vulgarity.
[kNarf] DIPITY DOOO!!!
*** kNarf is now known as SaranWrapity.
* SaranWrapity works well, keeps your food from getting decrepit

5/04/00 Forest

*** TelefraNketer (209.50.5) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[TelefraNketer] Hello, can I interest any of you in some accidental life insurance???
[TelefraNketer] Okay, I can understand your frustration sir, I know that you are eating dinner, but
think what would happen if you suddenly were hit by a bus as you were eating dinner, if you were covered
under our insurance you would collect like 25 DOLLARS!!! Isn't that INCREDIBLE!!!
*** Joolee (12.22.53) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing
between the trees.
* Joolee laugsh*
[Joolee] hmmmm
[Joolee] i need to spell correctly
[TelefraNketer] Well, before I let you go and finish eating, can I remind you that nearly everyone in
planes that blow up in midair die? in fact, almost 100 percent of people do.
[Joolee] well...
[TelefraNketer] Hello miss Joolee, this incredible accidental life insurance is available for only 12
dollars a month, billed 144 dollars annually three times a year conviently to your credit card, what a deal,
huh???
* Joolee nods* yes it is!
[Joolee] how do i take advantage of this offer?
[TelefraNketer] In fact, miss Joolee, most people would not be covered if thier bus they are riding in
were to be hit by an asteroid, but under our insurance, your family would stand to collect more than a
whopping 17 dollars!!!
[TelefraNketer] In order to take advantage of this offer, I'll just need to ask you a few simple but
necessary questions, so we can get you covered immediately under this incredible deal!!!
[Joolee] wow! 17 dollars!
[Joolee] okay
[TelefraNketer] First, I'll need your credit card number, then I'll need the make and model car you
drive, along with miles on the car, then I'll need to have your birthdate, shoe and bra size, along with
underwear preference, finally, I will need to know if you prefer a salad or garlic bread with a spaggeti dinner
[Joolee] wellll...okay
[Joolee] I'm not too sure why you need that much information, but okay!
[TelefraNketer] Once we get those questions out of the way, we can get into your favorite yogurt
flavor, what cartoon did you think affected you the most as you grew up, and get some of your thoughts on the
recent situations in the Sri Lanka region
[Joolee] 5412 6666 5411 1452 x0101
[TelefraNketer] Okay, got that, yep
[Joolee] Mitsubishi Mirage, 124,000 miles, 2/20/73, size 5 shoes, 36D bra size, bikkini, i prefer
garlic bread unless they're offering caesar salad
*** TwiggyR (#206.231.66#) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[TelefraNketer] TwiggyR, did you know that nearly 75 percent of fisherman prefer StinkyBait, the
revolutionary new bait from Ronco???
*** TwiggyR (#206.231.66#) has left location Forest
[TelefraNketer] damn, a friggin hangup
[Joolee] i don't like yogurt...and I think tom and jerry affected me the most while growing up...thots
on Sri Lanka? I havent' thot about them lately
[TelefraNketer] okay, I got that now too
[Joolee] anything else, Mr. TelefraNketer?
[TelefraNketer] Okay, you are now signed up for Oh Shit I'm About To Die accidental life
insurance, and along with this insurance, we are pleased to offer you a lifetime membership in the Walmart
Buyers Club, where you can buy quality products that are built in China, by political prisoners who KNOW
what real quality is, all this is free, after the 6 dollar a month security fee on your credit card that is, your first
three months is at an unbelievable bargain of 7 dollars though, INCREDIBLE!!
[Joolee] I'm impressed, that is indeed an incredible offer!
[Joolee] I would love to sign up!
[TelefraNketer] Yes, I can understand your hesitation, I would like to point out however, that we can
offer you recycled condoms at nearly twice the price of our nearest competitor!!!
[Joolee] you have competitors that sell recycled condoms?
[Joolee] hmmmm...that sounds sort of um, er uh, sticky
[TelefraNketer] Yes, I know how you feel, that is why here at telemarketing inc, our motto is give the
customer what they don't want or need, and do it fast
[Joolee] oh *shrugs satisfied*
[Joolee] well in that case...
[Joolee] i have a question though
[TelefraNketer] yes, what is that?
*** Mysteria (192.54.242) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[Mysteria] i'm baaa-ack
[Joolee] I was wondering how the recycled condoms are going to affect my pet
[TelefraNketer] hello miss mysteria, did you know that 98 percent of Americans see cars everyday??
[Mysteria] ... yes i prolly did know that.. but thanx for informing me
[Mysteria] hi hi Joolz! *hugs*
* Joolee hugz Mysteria* i'm buying a new unneeded insurance plan here
[Mysteria] you are?? offered by whom? frank?
* Joolee nods*
[Mysteria] is this a new service he provides?_
[Joolee] i get recycled condoms
[Mysteria] whoweee.. lucky you
[Joolee] i'm worried how they're going to affect my pet llama though

5/05/00 Forest

[fraNk] I think a horrible way to die is if someone would tie a 70 foot length of piano wire around
my genitals and tie the other end to the inside of an airplane, and throw me out
[Joolz] ohhhhhhhhhh
[AcridFuriae] Cool
[LoupGaroux] LOL@fraNk
[ApplePie] oh my gosh
* FruityPebbles looks@fraNk all shocked* ok did you just think that up? cause if you did your realy
demented
[fraNk] well, unless the airplane was on the ground and I had wire cutters, but even having piano
wire around my boys is just a chilling and not very arousing thought
* saeria blinks *the boys?? *laughs really really hard*
[ApplePie] packs the wire cutters
* LoupGaroux protects fraNk's parts from airplances and pianos
* saeria blinks to fraNk *even worse, getting strangled by a woman's bust in the act.. that would
suck...
[fraNk] I read a story about some guy that suffocated, his 400 and some odd lb wife passed out while
she was on top and tipped forward on top of his face *L* he weighed only like 140 lbs *LMAO*
* Joolz has a friend who calls his package: The Rock and The Acolytes
[fraNk] Dade calls his package Mr Winky and his sack of buddies
[ApplePie] Mr. happy and his fab friends
[Dade] thats Mr B Winky to u fraNk *L*
*** smoog (142.165.47) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the clearing
between the trees.
[fraNk] smoog, a very very dangerous form of fog, the extra o stands for oruangatang, enough said
[LoupGaroux] LOL@fraNk yeah... that orangutang fog is the worst... i mean reallty=)
* Joolz prances happily about
[fraNk] prances?? is Joolz a horse now?? *grabs some sugar cubes and a bucket of oats*
* Joolz isn't a horse*
[Joolz] but i make horsey noises during sex
[LoupGaroux] Kalika means Mother of Darkness
[LoupGaroux] oops! it means She Who Destroys
[fraNk] What would "she who sits on my lap naked" be???

5/09/00 Forest

[sadim] hello RogueMage, you old donkey of a slut person you..*L*
[fraNk] RogueMage, how I long for the sweet caress of the Rogue people's hip
[RogueMage] Well Hello sadim of the towel head wrappers!
[Sandman_] I have a slaple gun right now
[sadim] slaple gun right now, oh NO, everybody stand back...
[Sandman_] errr a staple gun
* Sandman_ staples sadim's eye lid* Hey it worked for Angel of The Baldies
*** RogueMage is now known as IttyBittyTitty.
[IttyBittyTitty] Whoops I didn't get the rest of that in ..heh
*** IttyBittyTitty is now known as roguemage.
*** sadim is now known as midas.
[roguemage] I've shrunk to the size of midas1 oh woe is me
[midas] hahaha, yes but your penis has stayed as small as ever..*L*
[Sandman_] Not that I need to get anymore over I am so over here but I will content everyone with 5
seconds of posing
[Sandman_] pose pose pose pose
[fraNk] madonna madonna madonna Madonna
[ROGUEMAGE] Aha there we go! *STOMPS AROUND THE FOREST SMOOSHING LITTLE
NICKED PEOPLE*
[PaperHeart] as opposed to little nekkid people? *smirks*
* ROGUEMAGE RUNS AFTER midas AND SMOOSHES HIM
[fraNk] luckily my big N commands a slight amount of respect, even from that giant ROGUE
* Sandman_ uses a Don "The Dragon" Wilson flying kick on RM. Those trademark Don Wilson
kicks that barely get a foot off the ground and miss by a mile*
* ROGUEMAGE ONLY STEPS ON fraNk's TOES CAUSE HE DESERVES A LITTLE RESPECT
*** Pez (#205.188.196#) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
* fraNk rejoices shittingly
* PaperHeart rejoices*
[Pez] Ya don't say...
* ROGUEMAGE STUMBLES BACK INTO A FEW BUILDINGS IN TOKYO AND ROARS!!
RRRRRRAARRR..*Breathes out Radioactive Beams*
* midas farts on ROGUEMAGE starting a terrible methan gas fire in the forest leaving only a dainty
pile of crap called Rogue...
* Sandman_ now does those trademark Don Wilson gun shots that clearly miss everyone but all the
bad guys seem to be falling
[ROGUEMAGE] I AM MAGEZILLA!!
[ROGUEMAGE] RRRARR! FEAR ME AND RUN AWAY LIKE SCREAMING JAPANESE
EXTRAS!
* ROGUEMAGE SCATTERS ALL THE SCREAMING CIVILIANS
* Sandman_ babbles Rogzilla is attacking the city...
* ROGUEMAGE eats a few for lunch as well
[Countess_Luna] *screams and yells profanity yet the sound is a-synchronus* (yes, I AM a film
student)
* fraNk big N's ROGUE from afar
[ROGUEMAGE] OH NO! *roars in an obviously dubbed way* It's..aN N!! *Falls over with a big
thud*

5/09/00 Forest

[Solidos] damit someone say some thing!
[fraNk] I never quarrel with anyone, I am the most benevolent soul ever!!!
[Solidos] ya and Im the queen of the americas.
*** Mignonne (137.120.93) Forest time seems to stop magically as someone enters the
clearing between the trees.
[Mignonne] Jaja, da zeggen ze allemaal!
[Mignonne] Voila! Wat heb ik je gzegd?
[Mignonne] En vergeet het maar, ik heb geen zin meer om engels te babbelen
[Solidos] the forest is to quiet today!
[Mignonne] 't is zo al enervant genoeg!
[Mignonne] Ha, toch een sweetie *s*
[Mignonne] En nu ben ik de main alweer aan het flooden... Wel jongens? Tong verloren?
[Solidos] exept for that mignonne character making a lot of racket.
[Mignonne] Nobody kicks you when you curse in Dutch...
[Solidos] ;lkj;lk j;li ;oin;lkj
[Solidos] o;ij h;kljho'
[Solidos] glj iujkl hjkh
[jeff] LOOKS LIKE A PRECRIPTION NEEDS TO BE REFILLED