2/27/03 Hot_Tub

*** BALLRIFFICK (203.124.0) Hot_Tub / BALLRIFFICK appears and hops into
the Hot Tub naked!!!
[fraNk] is that BENAFFLECK's brother or something?

2/27/03 Hot_Tub

[moongoon] IVE DONE 41 SCENES THIS WEEK WHICH IS UNHEARD OF! i am a
champion of animation
[fraNk] i want moongoon to do an erotic image of me and a bulldozer, I want it done in the
medium of finger poop on canvas
[fraNk] oooh, animated even!!!!
[moongoon] 41 scenes = 1220$
[moongoon] ILL BE RICH!
[MrWoohoo] afganistanimation?
[moongoon] DAMN YOU TO HELL MR WOOHOO
[fraNk] you be quiet, MrWooHoo is a chocolate drink, you know?
[fraNk] I would like to meet the person who invented internet porn and shake his hand
[fraNk] course, his hand would probably be all sticky

2/27/03 Hot_Tub

[3D] wheres all da honeys?
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] I'm right here 3D, message me now for a big hot surprise
[3D] fuckin hos why is u ignorin me
[Aphrael] Because oh I don't know 3D maybe because you're a fucking moron?
*** 3D is magically summoned to 40plus by AOqoZZnXI1iIos!
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] I got tired of hearing 3D-PO and all his little fantasies
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] a better name for him would be Retard-D2
*** 3D (213.215.27) Hot_Tub / 3D appears and hops into the Hot Tub naked!!!
[3D] hey who did dat?
[3D] i aint done nuffin
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] did you say you want a well done muffin?
* AOqoZZnXI1iIos cooks up a nice muffin for 3D, with butter

2/27/03 Hot_Tub

[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) no. why did the Bitch Sweetkisses tell ya
that? *Clishay* (24.70.95) see Lauren likes to lie and stuff. it's just extra Bones. in her Body who cares
anyways. I love her for her..
[SwEeT_kIsSeS] hahaha.
[RainWolf] EXTRA BONES?!?!?! *ROTFLMGDFSAO* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[moosha] rotfl
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) I mean, I love her and everything, even though she
has a penis and forces me to jack her off in my mouth
[RainWolf] oh gawd I'm dieing *LMAO*
[RainWolf] *ROTFL*
[SwEeT_kIsSeS] hahahahahaha
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) so I guess it's just ONE extra bone, a bone ER
[BearSuit] HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FRANK
* RainWolf laughs*
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) FUCK YOU, I'll bet her penis is bigger than yours
dick
[RainWolf] oh gawd my sides *laughs*
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) whatever dude, shut up, you wouldn't know until
you try it, I love giving her a reach around, she has both sexual organs you know *S*
[SwEeT_kIsSeS] hah
[Nakina] *chokes* ROFLMAOPMP
* RainWolf gags* oh fuck *L*
[RainWolf] air.. I need air *wipes her eyes and laughs* ohhh shit *L*
[BearSuit] OMFG!!!!11!!1!!!!!!!11!!! FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!111!!
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) someday I'm going to bring her over to your
house, leash and all, and let her loose, she will maul you to death, WOOF WOOF, get my drift, pilgrim?
[Angeleyes] Hmm.......* LMFAO*
[AOqoZZnXI1iIos] *Clishay* (24.70.95) sometimes just for fun she wears a robe and a
mask and jumps out of my sweet ride (a 1985 Chrysler K-Car) and does naked jumping jacks in front of
children, the shock in thier eyes is priceless.

3/4/03 Teens16_19

[Robbbbb] great, my computer wants to fight with me.
[HONEYBUM] bro are you gay with robbb?
[Robbbbb] HONEYBUM, are you some kind of gay seeking person, seriously, shut up.
[Bro] Goodbye RObbbbbb We will have to finish this off another time....
[Robbbbb] We will indeed.
[Robbbbb] and I'll win, as usual
[Bro] Over your gay ass you will
[SweetPoison] thinks bro is gay and is leaving to get gay laid
[Robbbbb] I will, and I'm not gay, you're just being stupid to use that one comment.
[elfin] to get laid?
[fraNk] elfin are you gay?
[elfin] gay as in funny.. or gay as in homosexual?
[2SexyYou] man u guyz are so homophobic today!! lol
[fraNk] 2SexyYou are you gay?
[gothstalkerluv] ELFIN U GOT A KOOL NAME
[fraNk] ELFIN YOUR NAME IS KOOL AND THE GAY GANG
[Robbbbb] gay as in happy.
[Grackle] everyone's always saying everyone else is gay
[fraNk] you are gay for saying that grackle

3/6/03 Forest

*** TacNuke (213.243.177) Forest / Time seems to stop magically as TacNuke
enters the clearing between the trees.
[fraNk] TicTacNuke, world's strongest breath mint?

3/7/03 Think_Café

[imac] This weekend I have to train for a role I'm playing next week, my daughter has a
driving lesson, my other daughter has her first meeting with her new softball team, we have to buy
new softball cleats before that, my son and his girlfriend are coming for the weekend..
[jf] Sheesh imac.. You don't have time for the fantasy world..
[fraNk] i have fantasy worlds
[fraNk] sometimes I dream about rubbing a hippopotomos down with oil as it blows water
and lays in an oasis in the sands of the desert
[fraNk] I would rub the hippo all over and say "there there rosie odonell, you sexy thing
you"
[imac] *smacks fraNk*

3/10/03 Cellar

*** fraNk (68.99.22) Cellar / fraNk descends the stairs and peers at the wine racks
and coffin!!!
[RogueMage] Hello fraNk! haven't seen YOU around here in awhile
[fraNk] HELLO ROGUEMAGE!!!
*** Karpathian (65.114.190) Cellar / Karpathian descends the stairs and peers at
the wine racks and coffin!!!
[fraNk] hello Lando Karpathian
[Karpathian] Hello.
[RogueMage] Lando? are you the mayor of Cloud City?
[Karpathian] Very funny, do I look like the mayor of a city sitting on nothing heavier than
a fart?
[RogueMage] A city of farts wouldn't be an ideal place to live in
[Karpathian] And thus I live here RM. *grin*
[RogueMage] Citizens of Cloud City we need your fart power to lift Cloud City back into
the sky! Keep eating those beans
[RogueMage] Anything for your Mayor Lando! *Brrrap*
[Karpathian] I thank all you citicens for your dilligent araiting of the, well "air" to keep us
all aloft.
[RogueMage] I'm sure Wookies would be a great asset to the City among the farts....do you
think Lando would have gotten lucky with Leia if he had said that instead?
[RogueMage] Welcome Princess to the City among the Farts..*rrrrriiipp* as you can see we
run on cheap Methane...*BRRRAP*....whew that was a doozy
[Karpathian] Not likely, Wookies aren't vegetarians so they dont' create enough, oh who
cares.
[RogueMage] I urge you Princess to join us....*Lando bending over and letting one
loose*..uhhhh....*Brrrrapp*....
[RogueMage] Now where was I? *bip*
[RogueMage] Where the hell did fraNk go?
[RogueMage] damn you fraNk!
*** fraNk (68.99.22) Cellar / fraNk descends the stairs and peers at the wine racks
and coffin!!!
[RogueMage] there you are
[fraNk] my computer crapped out on me
[RogueMage] Lando shall surely light his fart at you for missing this
[Karpathian] The cellar got WEIRD while I was away.
[fraNk] I will be your porno wookie
[fraNk] I am Ron Jeremawookie
[fraNk] I shall fornicate with the princess
[RogueMage] would fornicating with a wookie be considered bestiality?
[fraNk] but for the sake of Cloud City legality let's say no
[RogueMage] p Use the dildo with force luke!
[fraNk] I am quite the beast
[RogueMage] Yes Porno One Graphy
[Karpathian] Very crafty RM.
[fraNk] what? RM is able to construct a craft?
[fraNk] I need to escape cloud city and get to Dantooine!!!
[RogueMage] A Star Craft! ahahaahah
[fraNk] make me a craft capable of this venture!!!
[RogueMage] Pervert the Hutt wants to lick Leia's nude body
[fraNk] Pornocrafty!!!
[fraNk] I will use my expert wookie carpentry skills to nail Senator Assmerelda
[Karpathian] Oh Christ.
[fraNk] I am not jesus my son, he was not nearly as hairy as I
[Karpathian] Ah, but craftier for he could build things of wood and nails, like crucifixes.
[RogueMage] Use the Big O Luke
[RogueMage] Star Wars III: A New Taboo Luke and Leia get it on
[fraNk] I liked the name that was rejected, Tabooin' on Dantooin
[Karpathian] Well well well, aren't we a bunch of dirty little monkeys down here.
[RogueMage] you ever hear the expression ****in the Gungan?
[RogueMage] Not me I just had a shower
[fraNk] I shaved myself
[fraNk] but not much
*** Lana (213.10.154) Cella r / Lana descends the stairs and peers at the wine
racks and coffin!!!
[Lana] wah
[fraNk] what the???
[fraNk] Lana? This isn't smallville, this is Star Wars
[fraNk] I must retain the majority of my wookie hairatage
[RogueMage] I shaved the rest of fraNk
[RogueMage] his toes were hairy
[fraNk] how dare you insult my hairytage?
[RogueMage] Arrow right though fraNk's heart
[RogueMage] You had me at Hairy
[r] awwww... ain't love grand...

3/14/03 Forest

[Barry] Are there any interesting females between the ages of 25 to 35 like to chat?
[Barry] Are there any interesring females between the ages of 35 to 45 who would like to
chat?
[Barry] Are there any interesting females?
[Minion] hmm, standards keep getting lower and lower...

3/14/03 Hot_Tub

[RoadDawg] *stares at Bobbie's camel toe*
[fraNk] camels have toes?
[fraNk] I thought they have hooves
[RxQueen] haha frank
[cosmic] i see myself in the hot tub glancing across the fizzing water a a hot girl
[fraNk] cosmic has a mirror, how interesting
[cosmic] she looks in my eyes and i know right away that it's going to happen!
[fraNk] she punches cosmic in the nose and runs off
[cosmic] but who's the girl?
[cosmic] yes frank, it need a good cleaning!
[fraNk] what if the girl puts a sausage in your nose?
[cosmic] we are now kissing even stronger and more aggresively than before
[cosmic] my hand rests on her knee as i slowly begin to move it upward further
[cosmic] suddenly.....
[fraNk] you get kicked, cosmic?

3/14/03 Hot_Tub

[Bastian] hiya
[fraNk] If Bastian goes to Subway, and orders a sandwich, is it a ... Sub Bastian?
[fraNk] bahahahaha
* fraNk bows *i know, I'm so funny, I'll be here all week*
[RxQueen] hahahaha frank *L*
[EternalFlames] *L* Frank that was so terrible, and yet funny.

3/21/03 Doorstep

[PeterGammonABC] FLASH BULLETIN: I am aroused, midget stripper has cute
mustache, could be related to saddam
[My_Man_Rags] there's no E at the end of potato Sam..lol
[SamRobertsMSNB] this just in cows near the ABC offices have filed an animal rights
complaint against PeterGammon
[SamRobertsMSNB] you say potato i say potatoe Rags.. now excuse me i have a camel to
interview
[PeterGammonABC] People of the United States, I deny my role in animal abuse, except
against camels, oh, and canadians
[TedPateCNNnews] SPECIAL REPORT: In an unprecedented military strategy, Canada
has sent one soldier to the battle front...but that soldier is Celine Deon, and she is about to sing that
horrific song from Titantic (may God have mercy on the Iraqi souls)
[SamRobertsMSNB] canadians are outraged at this news.. several of them have reportedly
started cooking pies
[Jeana] these guys are great!
[Man_In_White] i'm shamed to be an american
[george_booshhh] i m hiding behind bush
[KAMAL] May almight protect all nations from the davelish Role of Bush.
[PeterGammonABC] This just in: Man IN White sent to live in China, receives special
award, bullet in head, relatives foot the bill
[SamRobertsMSNB] where celine goes so does her fat husband who likes statutory raping
her.. god save us all
[Jeana] LOL
[TedPateCNNnews] An in an unrelated story: It is official, New Zealanders now accept the
label of a Kiwi
[REDHOTMAN] u guys r making LAUGH 2 much >.loved the CAMEL 1 though
[Man_In_White] i pray that only those directly involved in this abodmination will feel the
wrath of god in time to come
[PeterGammonABC] okay, connie, connie chung? okay hello connie, am I on the air? I like
your breasts, oh, I am on the air? okay, I'm riding a camel near a milk dud factory in
dalaaaaaaalalalalalaakbar, iraq, and there appears to be, yes, there is, a man in a turban eating some head
cheese.
[KAMAL] Lol...Alia.. I despise Bush & detest Saddam. Death is incluctabl and man
slaughter is an inexpiable crime.
[Jeana] you guys have been working on that routine havent you?!
[SamRobertsMSNB] unconfirmed reports have linked the war on Iraq to a belief that
NSync w** ***ding an unannounced desert concert there Thursday evening
[Man_In_White] the innoncents killed...may souls rest in peace forever
[Jeana] wipes eyes frfrom laughter
[TedPateCNNnews] This just in from our ABC counterparts: Connie Chung does indeed
have breasts...according to Peter Gammond..and in another unrelated story, padded bras have
plummeted in the stock market
[SamRobertsMSNB] no reports yet on whether Chris Kirkpatrick got his ass kicked
[SamRobertsMSNB] eminem was seen smiling
[Jeana] LOL
[PeterGammonABC] BREAKING NEWS!!! The B52's are actually the musical band, and
NOT the bombers, it appears that the music they are playing is causing Iraqui solders to keel over and
deficate themselves rather than fight
[TedPateCNNnews] this just in: A special report just for Jeana from the home front of the
Alamak doorstep - Apparently, there is a bald infaltry leading the way
[PeterGammonABC] at this time I am wearing a padded bra for protection from shrapnel,
on, and over me years because the B52's are truly bombing
[LionOfJudah] LOL @ PETER GAMMON
[Jeana] LOL *keeling over with laughter*
[LionOfJudah] damn this mofo is hilarious
[TedPateCNNnews] Wow: In a new development we learn that Iraqi soldiers are horrificly
frightened by long, greasy hair - Bon Jovi has been asked to go back to 80s form, and all the members
of Guns-N-Roses have joined and are being transported to Kuwait now
[SamRobertsMSNB] ok i'm breaking up here.. i think the batteries in my walky talky are
about to die.. back to the studios and a fashion show with hermaphrodites against drunk driving
[PeterGammonABC] Okay, CORRECTION, CORRECTION, there is no large sand
storm, actually there is some VICIOUS fighting going on around the Alakberaki Oil Field in southern iraq
right now, it appears that Roseanne Barr and Oprah Winfrey are fighting over a milk dud.
[SamRobertsMSNB] Oprah Winfrey is using her latest book of the month to beat Roseanne
barr about the rather large Gluteus Regions
[Man_In_White] Citizens of the united states, hear me!!! let's stop this foolishness once
and for all!! Let us once again live up to the spirits of our forbears!!!
[PeterGammonABC] I am looking up now, from what I am seeing, it looks as though, yes,
war protestors from around the united states, in particular san fransisco, have been strapped with
explosives and dropped from airplanes over iraq as a cheap alternative to real bombs.
[TedPateCNNnews] To correct Ted Koppel's..I mean Peter Gammonds report...Yes,
Roseanne and Oprah are fighting over the milk dud, but apparently Richard Simmons just played his
infamous Sweating To the Oldies soundtrack over the US Air-Alert soundsystem..and it has settled
[Sarah] Man, what's with those phony news reporters anyway?? LOL